Meredith 2: Adventures In Seattle Grace
by boop-oop-ee-doo
Summary: Meredith & Derek's happiness is threatened when they have to visit the Chief of SGH. Mer must foil a plot by the annoying Nurse Rose to steal Derek for herself, her evil cousin who masterminded the plan, and Izzie's clashes with a sarcastic new friend.
1. Honeymooners

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: Here it is, the first chapter of my Greysified Shrek sequel! Enjoy!

* * *

A story book opened, and a voice began to read it.

_"Once upon a time, in the beautiful hospital of Seattle Grace, the Chief chose a handsome young Neurosurgery attending to one day take his place. The employees celebrated, having waited a long time for this day. But unfortunately, a disgruntled patient placed a horrible curse on the Chief's heir. Every night after sunset, a terrible dark and twisty form took over him. Desperately seeking help for his successor, the Chief and his wife sought help from a wise Cardio surgeon. She instructed them to lock the young Doctor in an abandoned hospital, there to await the kiss of the beautiful Nurse Rose.."_

A nurse, fully scrubbed in and wearing a surgical mask and scrub cap, could be seen riding across the desert on a horse. Day changed to night and back periodically.

_"It was she who faced a perilous journey through blistering winds and scorching desert, and the obvious problems that arise from riding a horse on the freeway."_

The nurse now left her horse behind, climbing a rocky hill to see a somewhat familiar abandoned hospital. She smiled under her mask, crossing the rickety bridge and entering the hospital. As she climbed the stairs, it became obvious that she had been narrating the story.

"She was the most beautiful nurse in all the land, and it was her destiny to break the dreaded curse" she paused as she reached the door of the attending's room. "She alone would climb to the tallest floor of the hospital, reaching the doctor's room.." she paused again to remove her mask and scrub cap, and spray mint into her mouth. "Cross over to where he sleeps, pull back the curtains to find him.." Nurse rose yelped as she pulled back the curtains to find a familiar female general surgery attending lying in the bed, reading a magazine. "Doctor Shepherd?" she asked nervously.

"No" the woman, Doctor Miranda Bailey, frowned.

"Oh thank god" said Rose, relieved. "But then.. where is he?"

"He's on his honeymoon" said Bailey, returning to her magazine.

"Honeymoon?" shrieked Rose. "With whom?"

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere, everybody's favourite dark and twisty surgical resident, was adjusting a video camera to film the cottage where she and her new husband Doctor Derek Shepherd were going to spend their honeymoon. After she was finished, Derek scooped her into his arms and carried her inside the cottage, smiling.

* * *

The next day, a young intern named Lexie came by with a basket of sweets she was selling for a fundraiser and knocked at the cottage door. When the dark and twisty Meredith and Derek opened the door, Lexie screamed and ran away, dropping her basket.

"I think that was my sister" Meredith frowned. Her frown quickly changed into a smile when she spotted the abandoned basket, and turned to Derek, both of them having the same thought.

* * *

And so, that afternoon the newlyweds had a picnic on the beach. Derek pounced on Meredith, kissing her furiously. A wave washed up over them, and when it rolled back Meredith was surprised to find that she was no longer kissing Derek, but a vet named Finn who had been out swimming. Derek emerged from the sea soaking wet, and dragged Finn off of Meredith, before hurling him back into the ocean.

* * *

That night, the pair visited a jeweller, who was holding an engraved ring Meredith had had made for Derek in the hot coals, adding some finishing touches. He took it out and laid it in Meredith's hands, but of course it was too hot, and Meredith tossed it around a little bit before accidentally throwing it high into the air. Derek reached up to catch it, and it landed on his ring finger. He looked at it, seeing that the inscription read 'I love you', and smiled at Meredith.

* * *

The next day, Meredith and Derek were running through a field of daisies towards each other, but when they met in the middle and joined hands, it became obvious that a mob was chasing the two, wielding torches and pitchforks.

Later, the mob hid in the bushes, waiting for one of the dark and twisties to set off their trap. Meredith was the one to do it, ending up dangling upside down with her face covered in mud. The mob surrounded Derek, but, it was a little known fact that we was a master of martial arts, and dispatched of them easily. He smiled, wiping the mud of the bottom of Meredith's face and kissing her while she still hung upside down.

* * *

A few weeks later, the newlyweds arrived home from their honeymoon, returning to Meredith's house.

"Home sweet home" Meredith sighed. Little did she know, her peace was about to be shattered..


	2. We Are Not Going!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

Derek and Meredith made their way to the house staring dreamily into each other's eyes.

"This'll be great. It's just going to be you and.." Meredith began, before they heard something inside.

_"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do!"_ sang a very familiar voice. Meredith pushed open the door and went inside, only to find her bright and shiny friend Izzie Stevens sprawled in her favourite chair. "Two can be as bad as one.."

"Izzie?" Meredith frowned, confused.

"Meredith, Derek! It's great to see you two back!" Izzie leapt to her feet, rushing over to hug Meredith, who felt a little uncomfortable. "Give me a hug you old love machine!" She then turned her attention to Derek. "And Doctor Shepherd, how about a little sugar for your loyal friend huh?" Derek hugged Izzie and gave her a peck on the cheek, while Meredith looked on, becoming slightly annoyed.

"Izzie, what are you doing here?" she frowned.

"I've been taking care of your love nest for you!" Izzie grinned.

"Oh, you mean like sorting the mail" said Meredith, gesturing to an untidy looking pile of envelopes, "And watering the plants?" she glanced at a dying pot plant, frowning.

"Uh-huh" said Izzie, smiling. "I even fed your goldfish!"

"But I don't have any goldfish" Meredith frowned.

"You do now!" Izzie grinned, skipping over to a dirty looking fishbowl in which two obviously dead gold fish floated. "I named that one Meredith, and the other one Derek! Meredith's a real little rascal.."

"Right well, thanks for everything Iz, guess you'll be wanting to go now huh?" said Meredith, gesturing to the door.

"Hang on!" Izzie protested. "Don't you want to tell me about your honeymoon, or play a boardgame or something?"

"Oh, of course we would" said Derek. "But shouldn't you be getting home to Alex?"

"Ah, he's been really grumpy lately" Izzie frowned. "He said something about spawning season, but it sounded boring so I didn't really pay attention... Anyway, I was thinking I could stay with you guys until it's over!"

"Well, you know we're always happy to see you Izzie.." said Derek gently.

"But Derek and I are married now" Meredith began, putting an arm around her husband's waist. "We need some time to be together." Izzie nodded. "Just with each other." Izzie nodded again. Meredith frowned, knowing the blonde wasn't getting the point. "Alone."

"Oh I get it, you two want some alone time" said Izzie, winking. "No problemo, I'll be here to make sure nobody bothers you."

"Izzie."

"Mmhmm?"

"You're bothering me."

"Oh" Izzie sighed. "Well, okay, fine I guess" the blonde headed for the door, shoulders slumped. "George and I were thinking of catching a movie anyway.." Derek stared worriedly after her as she left.

"She'll be fine" Meredith assured him, pulling him around to face her. "Now where were we?"

"Oh, right" Derek grinned, leaning in closer. They kissed, but out of the corner of their eyes, spotted Izzie, already back inside.

"Izzie!" Meredith snapped.

"I know, I know, you want to be alone" said Izzie, pulling open the door and pointing to a bunch of men with trumpets making their way up the drive way, playing an official sounding tune. "But what do I tell those guys?" The men divided into two lines, and a guy holding a an important looking piece of paper walked up the middle of them. As the other trrumpeteers stopped playing, the one on the end of the line began playing a little tune called 'Cosy In The Rocket'. The guy with the paper slapped the trumpeteer to shut him up, then cleared his voice and began reading his message.

"Dear Doctor Shepherd, you are cordially invited to visit the far, far, away hospital of Seattle Grace, to attend a prom in honor of your recent marriage. There, the Chief will give his official blessing to you and your" he coughed, "..Beautiful Nurse Rose."

"Nurse Rose?" Meredith frowned.

"Signed, the Chief and Adele" The messenger finished.

"The Chief and Adele?" said Derek happily, as the trumpeteers and messenger left.

"Alright, a prom!" said Izzie happily. "I've got to see this!"

"Well you can go, but Derek and I aren't" said Meredith.

"What?" cried Izzie and Derek in unison.

"Look, no offence Derek, you know I love the hobo thing, but your Chief, well.."

"He may be a little surprised" Derek admitted. "But the Chief and Adele are like family, they love me."

"Even so, I'm not sure I'd get the same treatment!" Meredith frowned.

"They're very laid back.."

"Sure, that explains Seargeant Stuck-up and the fancy pants hospital band!"

"Just give them, a chance!" Derek yelled.

"To prepare their torches and pitchforks? I don't think so!" Meredith shot back.

"All the Chief wants is to give you his blessing!" Derek snapped.

"So now I need his blessing?" Meredith yelled.

"If you want to be part of the Seattle Grace family, yes!"

"Who said I wanted to be part of the Seattle Grace family?"

"Uh, you did, when you married me!"

"Well there's some fine print for you!"

"So you won't come?" Derek pouted.

"Trust me, it's not a good idea" said Meredith, crossing her arms. "We are not going, and that's final!"


	3. Are We There Yet?

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

Just a few hours later, Meredith was reluctantly helping Derek pack their ambulance for the trip to Seattle Grace. Mark Sloan, Derek's best friend, was helping pack as he had decided to come with them, both for moral support, and to try and find Callie, whom neither he nor Arizona had yet managed to get in contact with.

"Thanks for coming with us Mark, I think we really need the support" Derek smiled.

"No problem, man" said Mark.

"Come on, you guys! Hurry up!" cried Izzie, who, despite Meredith's best efforts, could not be dissuaded from tagging along. Meredith's other bright and shiny friends had come to look after the house while she was gone.

"Don't worry Meredith, we'll take care of everything!" smiled Arizona before she, George, Bailey, Burke, the interns, and the Mercy Westers ran inside, closing the door behind them. A few seconds later, loud music began to play, a smashing sound was heard, and Bailey could be seen dancing through the window. Meredith groaned and slapped her forehead, before sighing and climbing into the ambulance beside Derek.

"Alright, we're on our way!" Izzie smiled, climbing into the back of the ambulance with Mark and singing happily as they drove off. _"Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on Head 'em up! Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yee-haw!"_

* * *

After a few hours, as they were driving through the mountains, Izzie began to get bored.

"Are we there yet?" she asked.

"No" Meredith replied.

* * *

Later, a storm hit, and lighting crashed around the ambulance as rain poured down.

"Are we there yet?" Izzie asked again.

"No" Meredith repeated.

* * *

They drove through some snowcapped mountains.

"Are we there yet?" asked Izzie.

"No" said Mark, beginning to become annoyed as well.

* * *

Then they drove through a forest.

"Are we there yet?"

"No!" Meredith snapped.

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

"Yes" said Meredith in mock cheerfulness.

"Really?" said Izzie hopefully.

"No" Meredith frowned.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" asked Izzie as they drove across a bridge.

"No!" Meredith growled.

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!" Meredith, Derek, and Mark yelled in unison.

"Damn.." Izzie mumbled falling silent for a few seconds before asking, "Are we there yet?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" screeched Mark, grabbing a syringe full of sedative drugs from the supply in the ambulance.

"Mark, no!" Derek cried as his friend made to lunge at Izzie.

"It's not enough to hurt her.." said Mark.

"Put it down, Mark. Just put the sedative down" Derek ordered. Mark sighed, doing as he was told. Unfortunately, Izzie didn't stay quiet for long.

"Gee Mer, this is taking way past forever!" she complained. "There's not even an in-flight movie or anything!"

"The far, far, away hospital of Seattle Grace, Izzie, that's where we're going!" Meredith snapped. "Far, far, away!"

"I'm bored" said Izzie, pouting.

"Well, find something to entertain yourself" said Meredith. Izzie paused for a moment, thinking. Then, she began clicking her tongue. Over and over again. Repeatedly. And it was driving everybody nuts.

"Enough already!" Meredith yelled. "Please Izzie, for five minutes, could you _not_ be yourself? For five minutes!" Izzie nodded and temporarily fell silent. Then, quiet as a mouse, she crept up behind Meredith and Derek, stuck her head between them, and clicked her tongue.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Mark screamed, once again lunging with the sedative.

"ARE WE THERE YET?" Meredith roared, knowing that if she had to be stuck in this ambulance with Izzie for one more second she would have quite literally killed the blonde.

"Yes!" said Derek happily as he looked out the window, causing his wife to breathe a sigh of relief, and Mark to halt his attack on Izzie. They had reached the outskirts of the city of Seattle.


	4. Meet The Parents

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

"Wow" said Izzie, looking out the window at the city around them. "It's gonna be champagne wishes, and caviar dreams from now on!" Meredith looked out too, feeling a lot less enthusiastic. She spotted a billboard with a blonde woman on it reading _'Doctor Erica Hahn, Cardio-godmother. Fixes broken hearts, and makes all your dreams come true.'_

"We're definitely not near my house anymore" she sighed. Derek placed a hand on her arm to comfort her. As they drove through the city, a crowd began to follow them, cheering at the return of the Chief's heir.

"Look guys, we've got company" Mark smiled, waving from the back of the ambulance. Derek smiled too, but was slightly apprehensive, wondering whether everybody would still be happy for his return when they saw his appearance. They then drove past a mansion with a plaque reading _'Doctor Harper Avery'_ on the front gate.

"Swimming pools, surgery stars!" cried Izzie happily. The crowd continued to follow them as they approached Seattle Grace Hospital. A trumpet fanfare played when they arrived near the hospital doors, and the crowd cheer.

"This is it!" said a guy with a cage full of doves, preparing to release them. At the hospital entrance, a couple stood waiting anxiously. This couple was Doctor Richard Webber, the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace, and his wife, Adele.

"This is it" said Chief Webber, excited.

"This is it" Adele repeated, smiling.

"This is it" sighed Meredith inside the ambulance. One of the members of the hospital board stepped forward, holding a megaphone.

"Announcing the long-awaited return of Doctor Derek Shepherd, and his beautiful new wife!" The crowd cheered. The guy with the cage of doves released them. But, as soon as Derek and Meredith climbed out of the ambulance, the cheering stopped. The doves crashed into a wall. The only sound to be heard was a baby crying.

"Well, I'll just you two go on ahead" Izzie chuckled nervously. "Me and Mark'll go park the ambulance."

"Yeah" added Mark quickly, climbing into the driver's seat and speeding off.

"You still think this is such a good idea?" Meredith hissed to Derek, as they slowly walked towards the Chief and his wife.

"Of course I do" said Derek, a little nervous. "And look, the Chief and Adele are happy to see us."

* * *

"Who is that?" the Chief hissed.

"It's Derek and his new wife" said Adele, obviously not as distressed by the situation as her husband.

"But why is he a hobo?" the Chief cried, "And where's Nurse Rose?"

"I admit this may seem a little problematic to you.." said Adele.

"A little problematic? No, this is problematic on a huge scale!" The Chief panicked. "He was supposed to marry the girl I picked out for him!"

"Well she may not be exactly what you expected Richard, but they do look.."

* * *

"Happy now?" Meredith snapped. "We came, we saw them. Now let's go before they have a chance to grab their weapons!"

"No, they're my family Meredith" said Derek.

"Sure, locking someone up in an abandoned hospital is a great way to show familial love!"

"That was for my own.."

* * *

"Good, now's our chance!" said the Chief, grabbing Adele's arm and trying to steer her towards the hospital. "We can go inside and pretend we're not here!" Adele frowned at him.

"Richard, we have to be.."

* * *

"Quick!" Meredith cried. "Let's run for it while they're distracted!"

"Meredith, enough!" Derek snapped. "Everything's going to be.."

* * *

"A disaster!" the Chief lamented. "There's no way.."

* * *

"You can do this" said Derek to Meredith.

"But I really.."

* * *

"Really.."

"Really!"

* * *

"Don't..

* * *

"Want.."

* * *

"To..

* * *

"Be.."

* * *

"Here!" Meredith and the Chief cried in unison. After a few moments of awkward silence, Derek smiled.

"Chief Webber, Adele!" he cried happily, hugging them both. "It's so great to see you!" He released them, then took Meredith's hand. "I'd like you to meet my wife, Doctor Meredith Grey."

"Well" Meredith chuckled nervously. "It's easy to see where Derek gets his great bedside manner from." Chief Webber frowned at her, and she groaned inwardly. This was not going well. This was not going well at all.

* * *

AN: I know Hahn appeared briefly in the first story, and that will be addressed at one point. All things considered, she just kind of seemed the best choice for fairy Godmother.


	5. Family Dinner

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

Before long, Meredith, Derek, the Chief, and Adele sat at a table that had been specially set up for the occasion in the hospital cafeteria. Meredith sat at one end of the table, while the Chief sat at the other end, glaring at her. Adele looked at her husband, frowning. Meredith may not have been what either of them had expected, but if she made Derek happy, then she was good enough for her. Unfortunately, Richard did not seem to think the same way, and he could be horribly stubborn when he wanted to be. As the others ate thneir starters, Meredith stared confusedly at the vast array of cutlery set out before her. She shrugged and just picked the food up with her hands, but quickly put it back down again when the Chief narrowed his eyes. Derek indicated with his eyes the right cutlery to use, and Meredith gave him a relieved smile of thanks, but then Derek himself made things worse by letting out a huge belch.

"Excuse me" he said, embarrassed.

"Oh well, like I always say, better out than in hey Derek?" Meredith chuckled. Derek laughed along with her, but the laughter soon faded into silence as the Chief continued to glare.

"What do you mean I'm not on the list?" cried a familiar voice from outside the cafeteria. "Don't tell me you don't know who I am!" Crashes, bangs, and other signs of struggle were heard, and then the cafeteria doors swung open to reveal a grinning Izzie. "Hey everyone, thanks for waiting!" she walked over to the table, pulling out a chair. "This hospital's like a maze, it was hard to find this place."

"No, bad intern!" said the Chief as Izzie prepared to sit down. "This is a very important dinner!

"It's okay Chief, she's with us" said Derek. "And she's not an intern, she's a resident. She helped Meredith save me from the Evil Spawn."

"That's me, the loyal friend!" Izzie smiled, sitting down.

"Where's Mark?" Derek asked.

"Oh, we went off to go ask around about Callie. Speaking of which.." the blonde pulled out a poster with 'MISSING', written across the top of it, along with a photo of a young Spanish woman, and both Mark and Arizona's phone numbers down the bottom. She held it out to the Chief and Adele. "Have either of you two seen this chick anywhere?"

"Can't say I have dear, sorry" said Adele. The Chief just shook his head.

"Can't say I didn't try" Izzie shrugged, tucking the poster away.

"Don't you want to go help Mark look?" said Meredith desperately, wanting to get rid of any influence that could possibly make her bad situation even worse. "You knew Callie before, right?"

"Well, yeah" said Izzie a little awkwardly. "But before she realised she was gay she was married to George, but then I slept with George, so.. let's just say I've never been her favourite person in the world, and come to think of it, she's never been mine either. When do we eat anyway?" At that moment, some waiters brought some bowls of warm water with lemon into the room, placing them on the table. Meredith picked up a soup spoon and began to scoop it into her mouth.

"Uh, honey?" said Derek, sounding embarassed.

"Oh right. Great soup Mrs Webber.. Oh" Meredith looked up to see the others cleaning their fingers in the water, and groaned. It turned out she didn't need Izzie to make her look bad. She was doing a good enough job of that herself.

"So, where are you two living at the moment?" Adele asked.

"Oh, Meredith owns her own house, don't you sweetie?" said Derek.

"Yeah" said Meredith quickly. "It's a wonderful old place with a garden full of beautiful flowers and.."

"Okay, I know your not talking about that old dump you call a house" Izzie frowned.

"Izzie!" Meredith snapped.

"A dark and twisty women who lives in a dump, how original" said the Chief, rolling his eyes.

"Really, Richard" Adele frowned. "Well, it sounds like a wonderful place to raise the children." Both Meredith and the Chief almost choked on their drinks.

"It's a little early to be thinking about that isn't it?" Meredith gasped.

"My thoughts exactly" the Chief frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Meredith, annoyed.

"Meredith, please!" said Derek. "It's fine."

""I uh, have to go to the bathroom.." said Izzie awkwardly, standing up. A chef came out of the bathroom, a procession of waiters with plates filing out behind him. Izzie sat back down. "I can hold it."

"I just wanted to clarify" said the Chief, reaching for a lobster as one plate was lain before him, "Whether any children you and Derek have.."

"If they take after him, yes, they'll be hobos!" Meredith snapped, grabbing her own lobster.

"But we're fine with that, aren't we dear?" said Adele.

"Of course, its a perfect legacy for this hospital!"

"Chief Webber!" Derek cried.

"At least I'd never lock my kids in a tower!" Meredith yelled.

"That was for Derek's own good!" the Chief growled.

"Sure it was!"

"You wouldn't know, you're not his family!"

"I am now!" The waiters delivered a roast pig to the table, and Meredith and the Chief began to fight over it. It slipped from their hands, flying into the air.

"Richard!" Adele cried.

"Meredith!" Derek yelled.

"Derek!" Meredith cried.

"Chief Webber!" Derek shouted.

"Derek!" Richard echoed.

"Adele!" Derek cried.

"Izzie!" Izzie grinned. The pig fell back to the table, Derek let out a yell of frustration, then got up and left.

"Now look what you've done!" Meredith and the Chief cried in unison.


	6. The Cardio Godmother

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

Derek took refuge in an empty room on one of the hospital's higher floors, running out on to the balcony, and looking down into the street where he could faintly register the shape of a familiar plastic surgeon running around sticking posters on poles and shop windows. The poor attending/hobo was depressed. Why couldn't Meredith and the Chief just get along? He sighed sadly, and a single tear ran down his chhek, splattering onto the rail of the balcony. Derek was just about to head back inside, when a bunch of bubbles appeared, along with Cardio-Godmother Erica Hahn, wielding her magic scalpel. She floated towards Derek, and began to sing.

_"Your fallen tears have called to me, so here comes my sweet remedy. I know what every surgeon needs, for him to live life happily.."_ Hahn paused, smiling at the very confused neurosurgeon. "Hello, Derek. Well, well, you look a lot different than when I last saw you."

"Uh.. do I know you?" asked Derek, puzzled.

"Of course, I'm Doctor Erica Hahn, your Cardio-Godmother" Hahn grinned. "There's no need for tears now Derek, because I'm here to make everything all better. With just a.." she started singing once again. _"Wave of my magic scalpel, your troubles will soon be gone! With a flick of the wrist, in just a flash you'll land a nurse with a ton of cash!" _Hahn waved her scalpel, filling the room with tons of money. _"A high-priced suit made for Chief's no less, and really hot shoes so no more stress.."_ An expensive suit and fancy shoes appeared on Derek, and a team consisting of various surgical staff suddenly filled the room, joining in the song.

_"Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse, confide in your very own surgical friends! We'll help you set, a new fashion trend!"_

_"I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great!"_ Hahn steered Derek into the bathroom, sitting him in front of the mirror.

_"The kind of Doc a nurse would date!"_

_"They'll write your name on On-Call room walls!"_The Cardio-Godmother waved her scalpel at the wall, making words appear. The wall spoke, startling Derek.

_"For happily ever after, give Shepherd a call!"_ sang the surgical staff. A high tech new-age ambulance appeared, while Hahn continued to sing.

_"A new ambulance to ride in style, a guy to drive it, let's call him Charles!"_One of the Mercy Westers, Charles Percy, who had been happily playing Twister with the gang at Meredith's house just a few seconds before, suddenly appeared, wearing a tight black shirt with his name emblazoned across it in fancy pink writing.

"What the hell?" he cried.

* * *

Back at Meredith's, while he was tangled up with Bailey, Reed, George, and Arizona, on the Twister mat, Jackson Avery looked around, frowning at the sudden disappearance of one player from the tangled mess of limbs.

"Hey, where'd Percy go?" Everyone just shrugged in reply, and April Kepner, who was running the game, spun the wheel.

"Doctor Bailey, right hand blue."

* * *

Hahn used her scalpel to magically wash and powder Derek's face. Derek coughed, beginning to become annoyed. Hahn just kept singing.

_"Banish your blemishes, tooth decay, those cellulite thighs will fade away, and oh what the hey! Have a dog named Doc, babe!"_ A sandy coloured dog appeared, running to Derek and barking happily. Hahn and the surgical stuff sang and danced around them. _"Nip and tuck, here and there to land that nurse with the perfect hair!_ _Lipstick liner, shadow, blush to get that nurse_ with _the sexy tush! Lucky day, girl buffet! You and your nurse take a roll in the hay! You can spoon on the moon, with a nurse, to this tune! Don't be drab, you'll be fab! Your nurse will have zero flab! Cheese souffle', Valentine's Day, have some Chicken Fricassee!" _Hahn flew around laughing, while Derek groaned, fists buried in his hair. The madness had to be stopped. The staff continued to dance _"Nip and tuck, here and there, to land that nurse with the perfect hair.."_

"STOP!" Derek roared.


	7. Happy?

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek

* * *

Erica gasped, shocked at Derek's outburst, while the surgery staff began muttering to themselves.

"Derek!" called a familiar voice. "Derek?" Meredith entered the room along with a very happy Izzie, who was clutching a basket of muffins.

"Whoa, you got a dog?" cried the blonde as she spotted Doc sitting at Derek's side, tail wagging. "All I got was this muffin basket!" she looked at the basket, the dog, then back at the basket. She shrugged and tucked into a chocolate muffin, deciding bshe didn't really mind.

"Derek, who are these people?" Meredith frowned, gesturing to Hahn and the surgical team.

"Oh, of course" said Derek, before starting the introductions. "Doctor Hahn, surgical staff who obviously all started working here after I was cursed because I don't recognise even one of you, this is my friend, Izzie Stevens.." he chuckled, slightly embarassed, as Izzie grinned, her teeth stained with chocolate. "And this is my wife, Doctor Meredith Grey."

"Wife?" cried Hahn, horrified. "But how?"

"Oh, that's a really great story" Izzie mumbled through a mouthful of muffin. "See, Meredith got hired to rescue Derek from the abandoned hospital, and they fell in love along the way. Cool huh?"

"This isn't right.." Hahn muttered to herself.

"What did she say?" Meredith frowned, glaring at Hahn.

"Calm down, Meredith" said Derek. "Doctor Hahn is my Cardio-Godmother."

"Great, more relatives!" cried Meredith, throwing her arms in the air.

"Please honey, she's just trying to help.."

"Then she can start by packing!" Meredith yelled. Grab your labcoat Derek, we're leaving!"

"But we only just got here!" cried Izzie, disappointed.

"And when did you decide this?" Derek frowned, crossing his arms.

"The moment we got here!" Meredith replied angrily.

"Can't we stay just a little longer?" Derek pleaded.

"Yeah" Izzie agreed. "I mean, we at least need to give Mark enough time to see if he can find Callie.."

"No!" Meredith snapped.

"Sorry, Doctor Hahn" Derek sighed. "My wife.."

"No need for apologies Derek" said Hahn, placing a hand on the neurosurgeon's shoulder. "After all, I am needed elsewhere, so I really must be going. But remember" she held out a sparkling pager towards Derek. "If you ever need me, happiness is just a teardrop away.."

"Thanks, but no thanks!" cried Meredith, snatching the sparkle pager from Hahn's hand before Derek could take it. "We don't need your help, we've got all the happiness we need right here. Happy, happy, happy!"

"If you say so" Hahn smirked. She climbed into the back of the anbulance, along with the surgical staff. "Come on Charles, we have places to be!"

"Why me?" Doctor Charles Percy yelled to the ceiling. "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Well" Izzie pointed out, "The time you pretty much caused me to lose my job comes to mind.."

"Oh, shut up" said Percy, climbing into the ambulance. He drove out the window, but the vehicle flew thanks to Hahn's magic. After the engine sounds had disappeared into the distance, Derek turned to his wife, frowning.

"What is up with you today?"

"_I _didn't want to come here in the first place!" said Meredith, annoyed. "This was a bad idea Derek, and you know it!"

"Well you could have at least tried to get along with the Chief!" Derek snapped.

"You know what I think?" Meredith shot back. "I don't think your precious Chief would have given me his blessing even if I did want it!"

"Well, it would be nice if somebody would ask me what I wanted for once!"

"Okay.." Meredith paused, seemingly considering her husband's words. "Do you want me to pack for you?"

"Damn it, Meredith!" Derek groaned in frustation. "You're acting like a.. a.."

"Say it!"

"Like a dark and twisty person!" Derek yelled.

"Well here's a newsflash for you, I am a dark and twisty person!" Meredith yelled back. "And guess what, Doctor Shepherd? That's not going to change!"

"I've made changes for you, Meredith" said Derek sadly, heading out onto the balcony. "Think about that." Meredith fell silent as she watched Derek walk away, but things weren't quiet for long.

"Nice one Mer, real smooth" said Izzie sarcastically. "I'm dark and twisty, grrr!" she mocked. Then she left, taking her muffin basket with her. Meredith sat down on the bed, head in her hands. She was _really_ bad at this.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mark, blissfully unaware of the troubles going on back at the hospital, was still roaming the streets of Seattle in search of his missing friend.

"Excuse me" he said, shaking awake a homeless man who was sleeping on a bus stop bench and holding out one of his posters. "Have you seen this woman?"

"Can't say I have, mate" the man replied, taking the poster. He grinned, displaying a mouthful of rotten teeth. "Quite a looker though ain't she? Your girlfriend?"

"No, best friend. Friends with benefits at one stage, but then she figured out she was gay so.." Mark heard footsteps, then looked up to see the homeless guy taking off down the street. "Hey, come back here!" Mark chased him for a while, but he was surprisingly fast, and Mark couldn't keep up. He stopped, panting. "You better not do what I think you're gonna do with that picture, buddy!" he yelled. He sighed, then added, "Call me if you find her!"

* * *

AN: And there's the chapter. And for those of you who enjoyed the bit with Mark at the end, I'm going to have other little snippets of his search for Callie spread throughout the story, as a subplot.


	8. Figure It Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek

* * *

"I knew this was going to happen!" cried the Chief as he paced backwards and forwards in the room that he had set up for himself and Adele so they could stay at the hospital during Derek's visit.

"You started it you know" said Adele as she sat in bed reading a book.

"But it wasn't my fault!" The Chief yelled. "She's dark and twisty, don't forget that!"

"She's also Ellis Grey's daughter" Adele pointed out. "Have you considered that maybe your problem with her is more personal than.."

"Ellis has nothing to do with it!" The Chief snapped. "The point is, Derek was supposed to marry the girl I picked out for him! And now you're expecting me to give my blessing to this.. this.."

"Derek would want you to" said Adele. "He loves her, I can tell. And if you don't, he might never speak to us again. You don't want to lose him again, Richard." The Chief just groaned in frustration. "Oh come on, you're acting as if love is predictable. Remember us all those years ago, that night by the lake.."

"Our first kiss.." Richard sighed, before snapping back to reality. "It's not the same! Don't you understand? Derek has married a girl with severe emotional problems!"

"Stop being such a Drama Chief" Adele frowned, crossing her arms.

"Oh, you want me to just pretend like nothing's wrong, do you?" he snapped, annoyed. "Fine then, I will!" The Chief began to skip around the room in mock happiness, not noticing the flying ambulance that pulled up by the balcony. "La dee da dee da, I'm so happy, things couldn't possibly be any.. Ahh!"

"Hello Richard" said Hahn dryly, poking her head out of the ambulance window.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Adele. She had become frustrated with her husband's actions and returned to her book, not seeing the ambulance or hearing Erica's voice.

"Nothing dear" said The Chief quickly. "Just uh.. my old knee injury acting up again. Might go out and stretch it for a while" he slipped out onto the balcony, only to have a pair of strong arms drag him into the ambulance.

"Richard, we need to talk" Hahn frowned.

"Of course, always love our little chats Doctor Hahn, but uh, could it wait 'til another night?" said the Chief nervously. "I was just going to bed. I've already taken my pills and they make me awfully drowsy.." he gave a loud fake yawn and tried to flee, but was grabbed by a burly security guard, who glared at him. "Well, maybe a quick visit." With that, the ambulance took off.

"Now Richard, you remember my dear cousin, Nurse Rose?" Hahn gestured to the woman beside her, who was pouting and filing her nails.

"Oh, Rose! I haven't seen you in years, almost didn't recognise you!" said The Chief, still nervous. "Um.. when did you get back?"

"About half an hour ago" Rose frowned. "After facing blistering winds and scorching desert, climbing to the highest room in.."

"Rose, honey, leave this to Cousin Erica, okay?" Hahn interrupted. Rose nodded, and Hahn turned to the Chief, launching into an angry tirade. "She faced blistering winds and scorching desert, she climbed to the highest bloody room in the whole bloody hospital, only to have some surly general surgeon tell her that _her_ attending is already married!"

"Well it's not my fault that she didn't get there in time" The Chief pointed out.

"Charles, stop the car!" Hahn ordered. Doctor Charles Percy groaned with annoyance at the new job that had apparently been forced upon him, but obeyed. "Richard, Richard, Richard," said Hahn as she turned back to the Chief, who was becoming even more nervous, "You've forced me to do something I really don't want to do!" The Chief shrank away from the Cardio-Godmother, whimpering. Then, Hahn reached across and rolled down a window, revealing a McDonald's drive-thru speakerbox. "I hope you're happy!" she snapped. "My diet is ruined!"

_"Welcome to McDonald's"_ came a voice from the speaker. _"May I take your order?"_

"I'll have two large Big Mac meals, one cheeseburger.." Hahn began.

"I want a Happy Meal!" Rose interrupted.

"Yes, one Happy Meal, with lemonade for the drink instead of Coke, she's hyper enough without the extra caffeine. And.."

"Don't forget the toy!" Rose interrupted again.

"Yes, yes, an extra serve of fries and.. Richard, do you want anything?" Hahn asked.

"No thank you Erica.."

"Some Mc Nuggets? Come on, what do you want?"

"Nothing, really" The Chief repeated. "I've just eaten."

"Okay" Hahn replied, before turning back to the speaker. "Did you get all that?"

_"Two, large Big Mac meals, one cheeseburger, one Happy Meal with lemonade, don't forget the toy, and an extra serve of fries."_

"Yes, that's it" said Hahn. They drove to the next window to pick up the food, and paid for it.

"This comes with the Happy Meal" said the cashier, handing a giant novelty scalpel through the window. Hahn handed it to Rose, whose eyes lit up, and they drove off once again. Hahn bit messily into a Big Mac.

"Now you listen up, Richard Webber" said Hahn, swallowing. "We had a deal, and you wouldn't want me going back on my half.."

"No, of course not" said The Chief in a panicked tone.

"Good to see we understand each other" Hahn smirked. "Derek and Rose will be together, understand?"

"Yes, I'll see to it" said the Chief nervously. Hahn took another bite of her burger.

"Trust me Richard, it's for the best" she continued with a mouth full of food. "Not only for Derek, but for your Hospital!" They returned to the balcony, and The Chief climbed out. "I trust that we can count on you to deal with this problem."

"But what am I supposed to do?" cried The Chief, at a loss as to any possible plan.

"You're a surgeon, Richard" Hahn called, tossing him the giant scalpel as the ambulance drove off. "You figure it out!"


	9. Shady Deals

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek

* * *

A few hours later, The Chief made his way into the Emerald City bar, which was situated just across the street from Seattle Grace Hospital, in search of help. He couldn't dispose of Meredith himself, as aside from the fact that neither Derek nor Adele would ever forgive him if they found out, he was partly responsible for Meredith's dark and twistiness due to an affair he'd had with her Mother in his youth, so the guilt was too great. He still felt a little guilty even now, but he had to do what, in his mind at least, was best for Derek.

"Hey Joe" he greeted the familiar barman. "Um, do you have any idea where I can find somebody called the Ortho Rockstar?" Joe nodded towards a depressed looking Latina woman sitting at the far end of the bar.

"She calls herself that sometimes. Callie, her name is." This was in fact the very same Callie that Mark was searching for, but unfortunately The Chief had not really been paying attention when Izzie had showed him the poster with her picture, and so he did not recognise her. "She's in here nearly every night, poor thing" Joe continued. "Always talking about a girl she lost, strange name too, I think it started with an A.."

"Yes, yes, that's very tragic and all Joe" said The Chief impatiently. "But I have it on good authority that this woman knows someone who can help me with a little problem I'm having at the moment, so if you'll excuse me.." The Chief left Joe and pushed through the crowd, making his way to the end of the bar. He tapped Callie on the shoulder. She looked at him with sad brown eyes, seeming as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. "Sorry to bother you" said The Chief, and he really was sorry, "But are you the Ortho Rockstar?"

"I used to be" Callie replied. "Why?"

"I think you know someone who might be able to help me.." The Chief explained his predicament, while Callie listened intently.

"My roommate could help" said Callie eventually. "Just say it involves Cardio and she'll do whatever you want. But I have to warn you that she's pretty hardcore. Plus she's probably sleeping now, and she gets _really_ cranky when she's disturbed.."

"Please, I'm desperate" The Chief pleaded.

"Okay, I'll take you to her" Callie relented. She stood and placed some money on the bar, then gestured for The Chief to follow her. "Come with me." The pair left and business at the bar went on as normal. Or at least it did until a few minutes later when a familiar plastic surgeon entered, clutching a familiar pile of posters. He handed them out to each table he passed, but unfortunately the occupants were either too drunk or just didn't care enough to realise that the woman on the posters had been sitting in the bar with them just a few minutes before.

"Excuse me" said Mark, handing a poster to Joe as he finally reached the bar, "Have you seen this woman? Her name's Callie, Callie Torres, and.."

"Sure" Joe interrupted. "She's right over.." he pointed to the place where Callie had been sitting, frowning to find her absent. "Oh. Well, she was there a minute ago. You just missed her."

"I _missed_ her?" cried Mark in frustration, looking as if he was going to tear his hair out. "I was stuck on a hideously long trip in an ambulance with a_ really_ annoying resident just so I could come and find her, I've spent the whole damn day searching for her, I chased a dirty old homeless man down the street to try and keep him from violating a picture of her, and you're telling me I _missed_ her?"

"Sorry, man" said Joe. "But hey, she's in here nearly every night. If you come back tomorrow you'll probably catch her."

"Okay, okay" said Mark, taking a few breaths to calm himself down. He turned to leave, but then changed his mind, turning around and taking a seat at the bar, in the very same seat that Callie had been in. He placed his pile of posters on the bar beside him. "Can I get a beer? Actually, I need something a little stronger after the day I've had. Maybe a Scotch.."

* * *

Meanwhile, Callie had led The Chief to the apartment she shared with a talented young surgical resident. She knocked tentatively on said resident's bedroom door.

"What?" came a sleepy, grumpy voice.

"Um, Seattle Grace's Chief of Surgery is here." A silence followed Callie's reply as the occupant of the room considered her words.

"Fine then, let him in."

"Well, good luck Chief" said Callie as she opened the door and ushered him inside. "I'm gonna go to bed." The Chief crept nervously into the room, which was shrouded in darkness. The small streak of light that was visible only illuminated the dark eyes of the person he had come to see. He gulped as the eyes narrowed.

"This had better be good. I haven't slept in my own bed for days."

"Yes, well, you see.." The Chief began nervously.

"OUt with it!"

"I have a problem I hope you could help me with" The Chief continued. "See, I uh, have this patient, she's dark and twisty and she's refusing to have her valve replacement surgery.."

"Cardio?" The resident's eyes lit up. "I'm in."

* * *

Back at the hospital, Meredith tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Eventually she got up, careful not to wake Derek, and began looking around a little. The Chief had had Derek's things from before he was cursed brought into the room to make him feel at home. These mostly consisted of old medical journals and books on Neurosurgery, but one was a diary written by Derek himself, and Meredith, against her better judgement, began to read it.

* * *

Meanwhile at Meredith's house, Arizona was struggling to sleep herself. Bailey had, as usual, commandeered Meredith's bed, so Arizona was curled up at one end of the couch, top and tailing with George who had taken the other end. Everyone else slept soundly, sprawled in various places around the house. Arizona sighed, pulling out the photo of herself and Callie that she kept in her pocket. During the day, with everyone around, it was easy to keep up her perky front, but not now. She sighed again, kissing the picture.

"Goodnight, Calliope" she whispered.

* * *

In her own apartment, far away, Callie pulled out her own matching photo, tracing the outline of the woman she feared she had lost forever with her finger.

"Goodnight, Arizona."

* * *

As Meredith read the diary, mostly filled with lamentations of the things he was no longer able to do due to his hobo-ness, she began to feel very down. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and Meredith got up to answer it, frowning to find The Chief.

"What do you want?"

"Listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot today" said The Chief. "How about we meet at Derek's old trailer in the woods tomorrow, for a little Chief-Resident bonding?" Meredith remained silent, not knowing what to make of The Chief's offer. "It would mean so much to Derek if the two of us could get along."

"Okay" Meredith relented.

"Great!" The Chief grinned. "See you at 8.00!"

* * *

Back at the bar, Mark had passed out, and was unaware of the pair of hands tugging his pile of posters out from under his elbow. He came to a second too late, seeing the homeless guy he had met earlier disappear out the door, posters in hand and laughing maniacally.

"Hey!" Mark yelled, stumbling drunkenly after him. "Hey, bring those back or I'll ..whoa!" Mark tripped and fell face first to the ground. Joe, witnessing the whole debacle, winced.

"I better call you a cab."


	10. Pray For Surgery

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek

* * *

The next morning, Meredith wandered through the woods in search of the trailer where The Chief had asked her to meet him. Izzie had accompanied her, refusing to be left behind. Meredith frowned at the list of directions she had been following.

"I think we're lost."

"We're not lost, we followed the Chief's directions exactly" said Izzie, snatching the list from Meredith's hand and looking over it herself. "We've walked into the deepest, darkest part of the woods, past the trees with the scary-looking branches, and see, there's that bush that looks like your mother.."

"We've passed that bush three times already!" Meredith cried.

"And I wonder who's fault that is, Miss 'I refuse to stop and ask for directions'" said Izzie, annoyed.

"This is just great!" Meredith yelled. "My one chance to make it up to Derek by bonding with the Chief, and I end up lost in the woods with you!"

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Izzie yelled back.

"I know" said Meredith, calming down a little. "I know. I just really need to fix things with this guy.."

"Yeah, I understand" Izzie smiled. "Now come on, let's go bond with Chiefy!" The pair continued through the woods, until Meredith paused.

"Um, Iz, did you take Arizona's heelys?"

"No, why would you say that?" Izzie frowned.

"I thought I heard wheels" Meredith explained.

"I didn't hear anything" said Izzie, reaching out to place a hand on her friend's forehead. "Are you feeling okay Mer? Hearing things is the first sign of insanity you know.."

"I'm fine" said Meredith, batting Izzie's hand away. "It's just you _do_ ask to take the heelys for a spin everytime Arizona comes over.."

"That doesn't mean I stole them!"

"I wouldn't say stole.. just borrowed without asking, maybe."

"It's the same thing! I may be a lot of things Meredith Grey, but I am not a thief!" As the two friends continued to argue, the source of the wheel sound came crashing into their path. It was a young Korean woman, dressed in surgical scrubs, mask, and scrub cap, with a hospital bed, heart monitor, and various surgical instruments in tow.

"Oh, hi" said Meredith. "That explains the wheels" she whispered to Izzie. "So, are you lost?" She asked the woman.

"Careful, Mer" Izzie warned, not liking this new development at all. "She's got a scalpel!"

"She's just a resident, Izzie, like us" said Meredith. She glanced at the bed. "Lost a patient?"

"Something like that" said the woman. "Look, dark and twisty, I'm gonna give you one more chance to come peacefully. So what'll it be, pig or cow?"

"What?" said Meredith, confused.

"He told me you might act all ignorant" the woman sighed, tightening the strings of her mask. "This is for your own good, you know." Before Meredith had had any time to process what was going on, the woman lunged at her.

"Hey!" cried Meredith, dodging the woman's attacks. "What are you doing?"

"You need this surgery!" cried the woman, backing Meredith towards the bed.

"What surgery?"

"You're valve replacement surgery!"

"No I don't!" cried Meredith. "Izzie, do something!" Izzie, who had been watching in shock as the scene unfolded, snapped back to reality.

"I'm coming, Mer!" Izzie ran to where Meredith's scalpel-happy assailant now had her friend cornered against the end of the bed. She closed her eyes, drew back her fist, and let it fly. Unfortunately, the woman ducked at the last minute, and Izzie's fist connected with Meredith's face, sending her sprawling back into the bed. "Did I miss?" she asked, still unable to look.

"No" Meredith groaned, clutching her aching nose. "You got me!"

"Now" the mysterious woman grinned through her mask, having Meredith right where she wanted her. "Pray for surgery from Cristina Yang, cardio-god in the making!" Fortunately for Meredith, but rather unfortunately for Cristina, the young cardio resident turned very pale, and began to dry reach.

"Look out Mer, she's gonna blow!" cried Izzie, grabbing the hospital bed her friend currently occupied and pushing it out of harms way, just as Cristina dropped to her knees and hurled right on to the path.

"Man, this morning really wasn't the best time to enter that hot dog eating contest.." she groaned. Meredith leapt from the bed, grabbing Cristina by the collar and hauling her to her feet.

"What should we do with her, Iz?"

"I say we use her to practice our skills, perform a few unnecessary surgeries on her" Izzie grinned. "Maybe an appy.."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" yelled Cristina. "I was only doing my job!"

"Like performing unnecessary surgeries on innocent passersby?" Meredith snapped. "Do I look like I need a valve replacement to you?"

"No" Cristina admitted, "But the Chief said.."

"Hang on" said Meredith, face falling. "_The Chief _did this?"

"Uh-huh" said Cristina, nodding. Meredith dropped her fellow resident and sighed.

"So much for Chief-Resident bonding.."


	11. Another Whirlwind Adventure

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek

* * *

"Oh come on Mer, it's not that bad" said Izzie. "I mean, almost everyone we've ever met has wanted to kill you at first."

"Thanks, Iz" said Meredith sarcastically. "That really helps." She walked over to the nearby river, looked at her reflection, and sighed. "Maybe Derek would be better off if I was.. bright and shiny."

"Yeah, the Chief said something about that" said Cristina.

"You shut up" said Izzie, glaring at her before turning back to Meredith. "Look Mer, Derek knows that you'd do anything for him."

"I know" said Meredith sadly. "But I couldn't change even if I wanted to. I just wish there was some way I could make him happy.." Suddenly, the dark and twisty residents eyes widened. "I've got it!" she cried as she grabbed the sparkle pager she had recieved the night before out of her back pocket, remembering Hahn's words. "Happiness, a teardrop away!" She looked the pager over and frowned. "This thing has no buttons! How am I supposed to use it if it doesn't have any buttons?"

"Maybe by 'teardrop' it means a literal teardrop" Cristina suggested.

"You could be right" said Meredith, before turning to Izzie. "Iz, what's the saddest thing that's ever happened to you?"

"Oh, don't get me started on sadness" said Izzie. "I've had so many sad things happen to me it's not funny! First there was the time I got pregnant at sixteen and gave the baby up, then there was the whole thing with me and the dying heart patient who proposed to me, and I cut his LVAD wire to get him moved up the transplant list but he died anyway, that one was a doozy. Then there was the whole cancer battle.."

"Izzie, I need you to cry!" Meredith snapped.

"Cry? Why would you want me to.. Ouch!" Izzie yelped as Cristina suddenly stomped hard on her foot, making tears form in her eyes. "Sneaky little sucker.." As Izzie wept, Meredith held out the pager under her friend's face, catching one of her tears. A few seconds later, a bubble, carrying an image of Hahn, floated out of the pager.

_"Hello, this is Doctor Erica Hahn, the Cardio-Godmother"_ said the grinning image in the bubble_. "Unfortunately, I'm out helping people in need, so I can't come to the phone at the moment, _but If _you drop by the office, we'll be sure to help you however we can. Goodbye, and may your day be bright and shiny!"_ As the message ended, Hahn's picture disappeared, and the bubble burst.

"That was cool!" Izzie grinned. Meredith remained silent, pondering her options. Hahn hadn't seemed particularly thrilled with her when they'd met, but if she could prove to the Cardio-Godmother just how much she loved Derek, maybe she'd be willing to help.

"Hey Izzie" she asked, "Are you up for a little quest?"

"Alright!" Izzie cried enthusiastically. "Mer and Izzie, off on another whirlwind adventure!" Izzie was so excited that, she as was, her trademark, began to sing, busting out some dance moves as she and Meredith set off, following the river. _"Ain't no stopping us now, woo! We're on the move!"_

"Hey, wait up!" Cristina called, chasing after them. "It's kinda obvious that I misjudged you.."

"Join the club, we've got personalised scrubs" Meredith deadpanned.

"Really?" asked Izzie.

"No Izzie, not really" Meredith replied, rolling her eyes.

"Look, if I'd performed that unnecessary surgery on you, my future would be down the toilet" said Cristina. "You saved by career by stopping me. Let me come with you until I can make it up to you or something."

"I'm sorry" Izzie frowned, crossing her arms, "But the role of annoying sidekick has already been taken! Right Mer?" Izzie turned, panicking to see that Meredith was actually considering Cristina's proposal.

"Please?" said Cristina. She widened her eyes and pouted. To Izzie, it seemed like the phoniest act ever. But Meredith laughed.

"Okay, you can come."

"Meredith!" cried Izzie, shocked.

"She's as much of a victim in this as I am, Iz" said Meredith. "Now come on, let's go." The newly formed trio set off, Cristina easily gliding along. "Hey look, she's got heelys!" Meredith smiled.

"They were sitting in my roommate's room, with a pile of other stuff that belonged to this girl she used to know" Cristina explained. "She never uses them, so I just took them for a little while to help me keep up with you today."

"Cool" Meredith chuckled.

"Oh, so now it's _cool_ to take heelys that don't belong to you.." Izzie grumbled.


	12. Where's Meredith?

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek

* * *

Back at the hospital, Derek was still asleep. Doc began to lick his nose.

"Meredith, stop that" he chuckled. He opened his eyes, frowning when he realised it was not Meredith. The frown deepened when he realised that Meredith was no longer in bed. "Meredith?" he called, looking around. Then, he spotted his old diary lying open on the bedside table, and groaned. He got up to go search for his wife, with Doc trotting along beside him.

* * *

Meanwhile in the Cafeteria, all the hospital's employees were preparing for the prom, bombarding The Chief and Adele with food and fabric samples.

"I'm not sure" Adele frowned as she inspected two different table cloths. "They're both very nice. What do you think Richard?" She turned to her husband who's mind appeared to be elsewhere, worrying about something. "Richard?"

"Oh, yes, whatever you think dear.." he mumbled. Adele sighed, pointing to one of the table cloths.

"For God's sake Richard!" she yelled, "Could you at least try to take an interest in Derek's prom?"

"Why? It won't matter" he mumbled to himself. Adele heard this, and gave him a death glare. "Oh come on, don't look at me like that. I mean, how do you really know that there's even going to be a prom?"

"Adele! Doctor Webber!" Derek called, entering the room.

"What's that Olivia?" asked the Chief, feigning that a nurse was calling him away. He wasn't really in the best mindset to face his successor at the moment. "Ah yes, I'll be right there.."

"Hello Derek, sweetie" Adele smiled.

"Morning Adele" said Derek, looking around. "Have you seen Meredith around?"

"Not since last night dear, sorry" Adele replied. "Have you asked Richard yet?"

"No. I'll go ask now."

"Try to use small words, sweetie" said Adele as Derek walked off. "He's a little, uh, slow this morning." On the other side of the Cafeteria, The Chief stuck his finger in a bowl of food, tasting it.

"Mmm, this is good!" he grinned. "What is it?"

"Uh.." said Olivia, the unfortunate nurse carrying the bowl, "It's food for Doctor Shepherd's new dog."

"Ah" said The Chief, embarrassed, wiping his finger on his labcoat. "Well, carry on."

"Doctor Webber!" Derek called as he approached. The Chief let out an uncomfortable yelp as he turned to face Derek. "Have you seen Meredith this morning? I'm worried about her.."

"Oh, I wouldn't get too worked up about it" The Chief chuckled nervously. "She's probably just gone off to sulk somewhere for a while. And uh, after the fight you two had last night, I don't really blame her."

"You heard us?" said Derek sadly.

"Of course, the whole hospital heard you!" said The Chief. "Not that we didn't expect something like this, her being.. well, the way she is."

"Well you didn't have to be so rude to her last night!" Derek yelled, defending his wife.

"Why do you keep turning this on me?" The Chief yelled back. "She's the reason you're going to be stuck looking like a damn hobo for the rest of your life!"

"I don't care about that, Richard!" Derek snapped. "Meredith loves me for who I am, not what I look like, and I love her!" He let out a sigh. "I thought you'd be happy for me."

"Derek, I'm only thinking about what's best for you" said The Chief seriously. "Maybe you should do the same." Derek just gave him a death glare, before marching off to continue the search for his wife. Doc yapped angrily at The Chief before following.


	13. We're With The Union!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

As the newly formed trio of Meredith, Izzie, and Cristina wandered through the woods in search of Hahn's clinic, Cristina whispered something in the dark and twisty residents ear, making her giggle.

"Seriously? You've got to be kidding me" she chuckled. Izzie, who had taken an instant dislike to their new travelling companion, glared at the two, eyes green with envy. She didn't have time to dwell on it, however, as they soon came upon the place they had been searching for.

"This is it?" said Cristina, wrinkling her nose at the building they currently stood in front of. "This looks more like a Private Practice than a Cardio place."

"Private Practice?" Izzie yelped. "I don't think we should go in there, Mer. Remember what happened last time we crossed a Private Practice? You nearly died!"

"Izzie, number one, I did not almost die, you just completely overreacted" said Meredith. "Number two, this is not a Private Practice. It says_ Erica Hahn, Cardio-Godmother_, right there on the sign, see? Now come on, let's pop in there for a tick" she added, laughing at her joke.

"Tick? Ticker! Heart!" cried Cristina, erupting into a fit of laughter. "That's a good one Mer, really funny!"

"I don't see what's so funny" Izzie frowned as they headed inside, none of them noticing the Oceanside Wellness or Pacific Wellcare signs lying smashed in the bushes nearby.

* * *

The truth was, Hahn had seized the building in a hostile takeover from its previous occupants, sending them all out into the streets, or forest as the case maybe. She had, however, allowed Dell, the Oceanside receptionist, to keep his job, since she couldn't be bothered finding her own.

"Don't we know him?" Izzie whispered as they walked in.

"He does look kind of familiar, but don't say anything" said Meredith. "We don't want to draw too much unneccessary attention to ourselves... Izzie!" she snapped, seeing the blonde hoeing into a cake that had been left on the desk, drawing the attention of Dell. "Sorry about her" Meredith chuckled as the receptionist looked up.

"She's 'special' " said Cristina, making air quotes with her fingers. Izzie glared at her.

"Look" said Meredith, rolling her eyes at her friends as she turned to Dell, "We're here to see the Cardio-Godmother."

"I'm sorry, she's not in at the moment." As soon as Dell said this, the PA system on his desk crackled into life, Hahn's voice bursting through it.

_"Dell, bring me my coffe and Danish, NOW!"_

"What I meant to say is" he chuckled nervously when Meredith frowned, "She's not taking any visitors today."

"Oh, very bad start" Cristina frowned, pulling a previously unnoticeable notepad and pen from her pocket and scribbling something. "Rejecting a visit from Union representatives, terrible!"

"What unio.." Izzie began before Meredith clapped a hand over her mouth, deciding to go along with Cristina's game.

"Again, sorry about her. And yeah, we're from the union, here to listen to any complaints you might have."

"Complaints?" said Dell, a little nervous. "Nope, no complaints from me."

"You sure?" asked Meredith.

"Anything you tell us is completely confidential" Cristina added.

"Well" said Dell, leaning in closer to them and whispering, "A day off once in a while would be nice, and no-one ever eats my cakes anymore.."

"I can fix that" said Izzie, eagerly reaching for what was left of the cake before Cristina slapped her hands away, making her pout.

"..And we don't even have dental" Dell finished.

"They don't even have dental!" Meredith gasped in mock horror, while Cristina shook her head and scribbled some more on her notepad. "So, think we could go see your boss to try and get some of these things fixed?"

"Sure" Dell grinned, pointing to a door behind him. "Right through there." Meredith smiled as she and Cristina headed for the door, glad to be getting somewhere, before she noticed something was missing, turning and rolling her eyes when she spotted Izzie still staring longingly at the cake.

"Izzie, come on!" she groaned, grabbing the blonde's arm and dragging her away.


	14. The Potion Raid

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

As the trio made their way through the building towards Hahn's office, passing by several nervous looking surgical staff along the way, they began to hear shouts from the Cardio-Godmother herself, leaving them with no doubt that they were heading in the right direction.

"A drop of desire!' they heard her cackle, followed by a small explosion. "A pinch of passion!" Meredith pushed the office door open a crack, allowing herself, Izzie, and Cristina to peek through, seeing Hahn skipping around a pot billowing pink smoke. "And just a hint of lust!" she tossed the final ingredient into the pot, causing the smoke to form a heart shape.

"Gee, what's she cooking up?" Izzie frowned.

"It smells kinda like one of those new-agey love potions" said Cristina.

"Sure, a potion" said Izzie, rolling her eyes. Meredith sighed and pushed the door all the way open, walking up behind Hahn.

"Excuse me.." she began. Hahn cried out, startled, then spun around, glaring when she realised who it was.

"You!" she yelled, glaring at Meredith.

"Yeah, me" Meredith chuckled. "Listen Doctor Hahn, I know I didn't make the greatest first impression last night, but, well.." she paused, sighing. "Derek's really unhappy at the moment. I was kinda hoping you'd help me fix things."

"Oh, of course" said Hahn in an overly cheerful tone. Both Izzie and Cristina noticed this and turned to each other with raised eyebrows, then quickly looked away, frowning, neither of them willing to admit that they might actually be agreeing on something. "I want nothing more than to see dear Derek live happily ever after with his _true love_." The way Hahn emphasised _true love_made Meredith smell a rat too, but she tried to ignore it, following Hahn to the book case she had walked to. "Let's see if we can't work out what's gone wrong here" The Cardio-Godmother grinned, pulling a book out. "Here we are, _Bones_. A work obsessed forensic anthropologist falls in love with her FBI partner, and they live happily ever after. But look!" she gasped in mock horror. "No dark and twisty people!" Hahn threw the book over her shoulder, pulling out another. "_Smallville_. Kid from outerspace grows up on Earth and becomes a superhero. No dark and twisty people!" she pulled out more books, tossing them over her shoulder and becoming more and more worked up as she read each one. Meredith frowned, beginnig to see the point she was trying to make. "_Charmed_, no! _Ugly Betty_, no! "_E.R_, _Buffy The Vampire Slayer_, _House M.D_.."

"Actually" Izzie cut in, "I know that story, and he's pretty.."

"No, no, no, no, NO!" Hahn shrieked, ignoring Izzie.

"Gee, somebody got up on the wrong side of the On-call room" said Cristina.

"If I didn't know any better, Doctor Hahn" said Meredith, frown deepening, "I'd say you thought that _I_ was Derek's problem."

"That's because you are!" Hahn growled. "Don't you get it? Dark and twisty people aren't supposed to live happily ever after, it just doesn't happen!"

"Hey just wait there one second.." said Meredith angrily, jabbing a finger at Hahn's chest.

"Don't you go poking that finger at me you emotionally stunted.."

"I have your coffee and danish Doctor Hah.. oh" Dell chuckled nervously, backing out of the office almost as soon as he had entered. "I'll uh, come back later." He gave Meredith a quick thumbs up, then left.

"Oh, now I remember him!" cried Izzie. "He was with that Private Practice in the woods, I stole his muff.."

"Not now, Iz" Meredith sighed. "Since Doctor Hahn obviously doesn't want to help us, I think we'd better leave."

"Good" said Hahn, pointing. "There's the door."

"Sorry for wasting your time" said Meredith, glaring at the Cardio-Godmother. As the group left, they passed a woman pushing a laundry hamper. This gave Cristina an idea, which she quickly whispered to Meredith. Meredith grinned.

* * *

A little while later as the woman passed by a medical supply closet, three pairs of hands suddenly burst out of it, dragging she and the hamper inside. Some minor sounds of a struggle were heard, before Meredith emerged dressed in the laundry woman's clothes and pushing the hamper. She was also wearing a surgical mask and scrub cap to hide her identity. She pushed the hamper down the hall, giving friendly greetings to one or two workers to avoid arousing suspicion, until she found a door labelled Potions, and, looking around first to check that nobody could see her, quickly slipped inside.

"We're in, guys" she whispered.

"Finally!" cried Izzie as both she and Cristina popped up out of the hamper. She glared at the wannabe Cardio surgeon. "I was getting really sick of having your stinky butt in my face!"

"Well you don't exactly smell like a bed of roses!" Cristina shot back.

"Look, could you two sort this out later?" Meredith frowned. She looked around at the roof-high wall of shelves lining the room, each one chock full of potions. "We need to see if one of these can help us."

"I was thinking exactly the same thing, Mer" Cristina grinned, rubbing her hands together as she climbed out of the hamper. "Already our minds a becoming one, like a great surgical team!"

"Yeah, if we ever need an extra nurse we'll give you a call" Izzie frowned. "I don't think this is a good idea Mer.."

"Fine, if you don't want to help then you can go keep watch" said Meredith.

"Maybe I will!" said Izzie, marching over to the door.

"Good."

"All the most important potions will probably be up the top" said Cristina.

"Thank you, Miss state-the-obvious" Izzie grumbled.

"Izzie, shut up" said Meredith, before turning back to the shelves. "The real question is, how are we gonna get up there?" Cristina replied by beginning to scale the shelves, grinning.

"Did a paeds rotation after they'd just got a new play centre once. Had to do a lot of climbing to catch the kids that weren't critical."

"Cool" Meredith grinned back, as her new friend reached the top shelf. "So, what's up there?"

"Uh, haemorrhoid cream, wart remover.."

"Be great if we knew a witch.." Izzie mumbled.

"Iz, just keep watch!" Meredith snapped. "Cristina, try looking for 'Bright and shiny' or 'beautiful.'"

"Nope, sorry" said Cristina. "Oh, there's a _Happily Ever After_ one though."

"What does it do?"

"Something about 'Happiness Devine'" replied Cristina, reading the bottle.

"You know, General surgeons are the most useful of all surgeons" Izzie began to ramble, neglecting her duty and not noticing as the previously ambushed laundry woman stumbled out of the room they had left her in across the hall. Meredith turned to scold Izzie again, then gasped, just in time to see the laundry woman sounding the alarm.

"It'll have to do Cristina, we're about to have a lot of company!"


	15. Trashing The Factory

\\\Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: Sorry again, I kind of lost inspiration on this one for a while, but Grey's Season 7 has just premiered here, and it's motivated me to get back into it.

* * *

Cristina nodded and reached for the potion bottle, but it was wedged in tightly amongst the other bottles, so she was trying to be careful and make sure none fell and smashed so as not to draw more attention to them.

"Can we just get out of here please?" said Izzie, beginning to panic.

"Come on" said Cristina, deep in concentration as she tried to remove the potion, "Come on.."

"Hurry, Cristina!" Meredith called. Cristina, sensing the urgency of the situation, and realising that if they'd already been detected it didn't really matter how much more attention they attracted, gave the potion a rough jerk, sending all the other bottles around it to cascade off the shelves, and herself to lose her grip, the potion slipping from her hands as she fell.

"I got it!" cried Izzie, running and diving for the potion, catching it as the other bottles smashed to the floor. "Did you see that, Mer? Cristina dropped it, but I saved it!"

"I saw" Meredith smiled. "Nice catch, Iz."

"Yeah" Cristina smirked, standing and brushing shards of glass from her scrubs. "It's good to see those big meaty hands of yours are good for something, since they obviously weren't made for surgery.

"Hey!" Izzie snapped. As her sidekicks glared at each other, the building's burglar alarms began to ring. Meredith glanced nervously at the large iron security door that was beginning to lower, closing them in.

"Guys, could you please sort this out later?" she cried. They continued to glare. Meredith groaned. "Guys, the door!" Finally catching on, Izzie and Cristina gasped. Meredith grabbed their hands, and the trio did a power slide under the closing door. Cristina realised that she'd left her scrub cap behind, and quickly reached back under the door, retrieving it and pulling it on before the door slammed shut. The girls stood up, and seeing the large group of security guards headed their way, turned and ran, dodging as the guards opened fire on them. When more guards came at them from the other direction, things looked grim, but Meredith spotted a chain hanging down from a giant spinning cog on the nearby potion making machine and grabbed hold of it, grabbing Izzie with her free hand while Cristina grabbed her around the waist, and the three of them were dragged into the air, spinning around.

"Wooooohooo!" yelled Cristina in delight, while Izzie screamed in terror. Meredith let go of the chain, and the three of them flew onto a conveyor belt that was rolling out newly bottled potions, and began running on it like a treadmill. They jumped off and ran for their lives, all the while still dodging bullets. As they ran, the security guards in hot pursuit, Cristina pointed to a huge cauldron boiling just ahead of them, and Meredith nodded, grinning at her. They ran behind the cauldron and used their combined strength to push it over, sending the contents pouring over the floor into the path of the guards, and, when it made contact, turned they and the other staff were transformed into doves. In the ensuing chaos, our three heroes made their escape.

* * *

A little later, after having moved his search for Callie into the forest, Mark came across the building that his friends had just vacated. He walked inside, clutching his new stack of posters, and frowning as he noticed the unoccupied reception desk.

"Hello?" he called. "Is anyone there?" No response. "I'm looking for my friend, Doctor Callie Torres." Still no response. Mark left a poster on the desk and prepared to leave, until he heard a loud, angry, voice behind a door labeled _'Factory'. _He crept inside to investigate, and gasped when he realised who the voice was coming from, before quickly hiding behind a nearby cart of medical supplies.

"I don't care whose fault it is!" Hahn yelled at her dove-ified workers. "Now get this mess cleaned up before I dock your pay! And could somebody please get me some Doritos?" At that moment, Rose entered the factory, and Mark ducked lower behind his cart. "Oh, Rose!" greeted Hahn with a smile, voice softening slightly. "This isn't a good time sweetheart, cousin Erica's working."

"What happened here?" Rose asked, looking around the scene of destruction.

"That infuriating dark and twisty resident is what happened" said Hahn angrily. Mark frowned, suddenly becoming a lot more interested in the conversation he had stumbled into.

"Where is she Erica?" Rose growled, pulling out a scalpel and looking around suspiciously, as if expecting Meredith to suddenly appear. "I will slice her head from her shoulders, I will smite her where she stands, she will rue the very day she stole my Derek from me!" At that moment, one of the doves pooped on Rose's shoulder, and Mark struggled to keep from laughing and giving himself away.

"Calm down Rosie, Derek will still be yours" said Hahn, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "We've just got to be smarter about it, that's all. I know that may be hard for you, but as long as you listen to everything cousin Erica says.

"Excuse me, Doctor Hahn!" the dove-ified." Dell called, fluttering over with a clipboard in his new claws.

"What?" Hahn snapped, taking the clipboard.

"All potions are accounted for" said Dell, "Except this one.."

"Well, very interesting" Hahn grinned, upon noticing which potion it was. "I think we may be able to use this to our advantage.." As Hahn formed her devious plan, Mark took his chance to quietly leave before someone caught him. He had dealt with Hahn in the past, and knew that whatever she was planning, it couldn't end well. Callie would have to wait just a little longer. He had to warn Derek and Meredith.


	16. A Dud Potion?

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

Meanwhile, our three heroes were walking through the forest, heading back towards Seattle Grace.

"So, this Derek guy.. He's dark and twisty like you?" asked Cristina.

"Kind of" Meredith replied. "He's a great neurosurgeon, but he looks like a hobo." She paused, realising that that didn't sound great, before adding, "A McDreamy hobo."

"Hey Mer, since we risked our lives getting that potion and all, don't you think we should work out what it does?" said Izzie.

"Yeah, you're right" said Meredith, taking the bottle from her friend and beginning to read the label. "_Happily Ever After Potion:_Maximum Strength. For you and your true love." She paused, before reading the short verse beneath the potion's title. "If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine, bright and shiny, with happiness devine."

"You both will be fine?" said Izzie, confused. "What does that mean?"

"I guess it means that it will affect Derek too" Meredith shrugged, opening the bottle.

"Whoa, hang on there Mer" said Izzie, a little worried. "I don't like the sound of that potion. My surgeon senses are tingling, and I say we should just get rid of it and go home."

"Izzie, it says 'happiness devine'" said Meredith, rolling her eyes. "What could possibly be wrong with that?" She sniffed the bottle, and promptly sneezed, sending a few drops of potion flying onto a nearby toadstool.

"See?" cried Izzie. "You sneezed 'cause you're allergic to it. And if you think I'm gonna stay up all night rubbing Vaporub on your chest you can forget it, 'cause I won't!"

"How about you let me try it first, Mer?" asked Cristina, reaching for the bottle. "I still owe you." Meredith nodded, holding the potion out to her new friend.

"Oh no you don't!" Izzie snapped, snatching the bottle from Meredith's hand before Cristina could take it. "Risking their life is a _favourite _sidekick's job!" She lifted the bottle to her mouth and took a sip, swishing it around in her mouth for a moment before swallowing.

"Well?" asked Meredith.

"I don't feel any different" Izzie frowned. "Do I look any different?"

"You still look like a dumb blonde to me" Cristina smirked.

"Maybe it doesn't work on people who are already bright and shiny" Meredith shrugged, taking the bottle back and lifting it to her lips. "Well, here's to us Derek.."

"Meredith, wait!" cried Izzie, grabbing her friend's arm. "If you drink that, you won't be yourself anymore."

"I know" Meredith sighed.

"No more hiding your feelings.."

"I know."

"No more bitching about everything for no good reason.."

"I know."

"No more drowning your sorrows with tequila.."

"I know."

"But Mer, you love being dark and twisty!"

"I know!" Meredith snapped, before sighing and looking at the potion in her hands. "But I love Derek more." She took a sip. Her stomach began to rumble. Izzie and Cristina dove into some nearby bushes. And then, finally.. Meredith farted.

"Ew, Mer!" said Izzie, nose wrinkling in disgust as she crawled out from behind the bush. "We must have picked up the 'Fartily Ever After' potion!"

"Maybe it's a dud" said Cristina.

"Or maybe Derek and I were never meant to be" said Meredith sadly.

"Oh come on Mer, I'm sure that's not.." Izzie began, before grey clouds darkened the sky above them, and thunder crashed. Izzie yelped. "I knew something bad would happen if we drank that potion! We're all gonna die! I don't wanna die!" Rain began to pour, soaking the trio. Izzie dropped to her knees, screaming. "I'm melting, melting!"

"It's only rain Izzie" Meredith sighed.

"Oh" Izzie chuckled sheepishly as she got to her feet. "Right." The group ran, seeking shelter, none of them noticing as the potion covered toadstool turned into a rose.

* * *

Eventually, our now soaked heroes came across a barn, and quickly hid inside it. Meredith looked out into the rain, sighing sadly.

"Cheer up Mer, it's not that bad" said Izzie, laying a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "Really, who cares that it's dark, and raining, and Derek's mentor hired a cardio-obsessed bitch to perform an unnecessary surgery intended to kill you?" Cristina glared at Izzie. "Things will get better in the morning, trust me" Izzie grinned, ignoring the other woman. "_The sun'll come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom.._" Suddenly very drowsy, the blonde collapsed, asleep.

"Bet my bottom?" Meredith frowned, before noticing her incapacitated friend. "Izzie! Oh god, what happened to her?"

"Beats me" Cristina shrugged, stepping towards Izzie with a mischievous smile. "How about we shave her hair and sell it to a wigmaker?" Before Meredith could object to this plan, a wave of drowsiness overwhelmed her too, and she fell, knocking Cristina down and pinning the future Cardio-God beneath her. "Well this sucks."


	17. Meredith's Transformation

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: This chapter features another appearance by the Oceanside gang, although I do feel kind of sorry for them. In the first story, they were beaten up by Derek, and in this one, well.. You'll see :)

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Seattle Grace, the Chief sat in his office going through paperwork, while Adele sat nearby sipping a cup of tea and reading a magazine. The Chief looked up as Derek came in, looking rather down.

"Oh, hello Derek."

"Is something wrong, dear?" Adele frowned, closing her magazine before turning to look accusingly at her husband. Derek ignored her, locking eyes with the Chief.

"I've been thinking about what you said Doctor Webber, and I've decided that it's time I did the right thing, for everyone."

"That's great!" the Chief grinned. "I'm glad you've finally seen sense!"

"I was wrong to bring Meredith here" Derek continued.

"Definitely" the Chief nodded.

"So I'm going to go find her" said Derek, "And then we're going back to her old house, where we belong." With that, Derek turned and left the office, heading towards the hospital's exit.

"Derek, wait!" cried Adele, chasing after him, along with her husband.

"Now I know you're upset" said the Chief, panicking, "But you can't go out in this storm, it's dangerous!" Derek ignored his pleas, throwing the doors open and heading out into the rain to search for his wife. But, just as with Izzie and Meredith, a wave of drowsiness came over him, and he collapsed.

"Derek!" cried Adele, running to him, while the Chief called for help.

* * *

The next morning, Meredith woke to the sound of whispering voices

"She's waking up!"

"Isn't she sweet?"

"What a lovely hair-do!"

Meredith let her eyes flutter open, and found herself surrounded by three middle-aged women.

"Good morning, dear!" one of the women, Louise, smiled.

"What the.." Meredith sat up, rubbing the back of her head. "What happened?"

"Don't worry about your friend" said Carolyn, the second woman, pointing to Cristina. "We gave her some cereal." Cristina, sitting nearby tucking into said cereal, gave Meredith a thumbs-up.

"Here, we got you some water, Sweetheart" said the third woman, Jane, holding out a bucket. Meredith took it, frowning when she realised that her hands seemed a lot softer than usual. She shrugged, then scooped some water into her hands, splashing some on her face. But then, she caught her reflection in the water. Her eyes were brighter, and her hair, a few shades lighter, was now tied up in a pony tail. Meredith yelped and leapt to her feet, looking herself over.

"Bright eyes.. Soft hands.. A cute hairdo.." She paused, looking down at her clothing. "Pink scrubs? I'm a.. a.. a dermatology resident!"

"Yup, the type of girl Mother's love" Cristina grinned.

"Would you like some tea, dear?" asked Louise.

"Biscuits?" said Carolyn.

"A piece of toast?" suggested Jane.

"I'm fine, thanks" said Meredith, looking around and noticing somebody missing. "Um, have any of you seen my friend Izzie? She's a general surgery resident.."

"Who you calling resident?" cried Izzie, appearing in the doorway and striking a heroic pose?"

"Izzie?" Meredith gasped in shock. "You're an.."

"Attending, baby!" Izzie grinned, pointing to herself. "Look at these cool dark blue scrubs, and this shiny new lab coat! I've even got my own marker for writing stuff on the board! That is one great potion we had, Mer. What's in it?"

"Personally, I'm surprised you two are still alive" Cristina frowned, picking up the potion bottle and reading the back label, which Meredith had neglected. "Warning: side effects may include drowsiness, burning, itching, oozing, weeping, and loss of libido. Not intended for those with nervous disorders."

"_Like a surgeon, cutting for the very first time!_" Izzie sang, busting out some dance moves. She turned to Meredith and Cristina, who were giving her strange looks. "What?" Cristina rolled her eyes, then turned back to the final line of text on the bottle.

"Uh-oh. One more thing you should know, Mer."

"What is it?" Meredith asked.

"It says that to make the the effects of this potion permanent, you have to get your true love's kiss by midnight."

"Why is it always midnight?" Meredith pondered.

"Oh, my son is a perfect match for you!" cried Jane. "He'll be you're true love!"

"Hey, I found her!" Louise snapped. "My son should be her true love!"

"No offence, ladies" said Meredith, "I'm sure your sons are nice and all, but I already have a true love."

"Yep, and for what it's worth, I think you're gonna have one very happy McDreamy" said Cristina.

"I'll admit, you do look a lot nicer now, Mer" Izzie agreed. "But I know that deep down you're still the mean, bitchy.."

"Watch it, Iz" Meredith frowned.

".. Dark and twisty chick you've always been" Izzie finished.

"And you're still the same annoying bright and shiny girl!" said Meredith in mock-cheerfulness.

"Yeah!" Izzie grinned, making Cristina roll her eyes. "So Mer, I guess the first thing we need to do is get you some fancier clothes. Those pink scrubs are cute, but they're really not suitable for the prom.."

* * *

Elsewhere, a little while later, the Oceanside Wellness gang were driving through the forest in a mini-van they had requisitioned. They were headed for Seattle Grace, along with their friend, a Pychiatrist named Sheldon Wallace from Pacific Wellcare. They planned to seek help regarding Hahn's theft of their building and receptionist, and search for Addison. Their fearless leader had set off on her own a few days before, but had apparently got herself lost along the way. As they drove, a flash of blue and white color darted in front of them, followed by a loud thunk as it connected with the front of the van.

"Oh my God!" cried Cooper, who had been driving, as he jumped out of the van to find Izzie sprawled on the ground, clutching her arm and groaning in pain.

"Oh, my arm!" she cried melodramatically, grabbing Cooper by the collar with her 'good' arm and pulling him closer. "Tell me Doc, will I ever perform a surgical procedure again?"

"You poor woman, I'm so sorry!" cried Cooper, feeling guilty. He turned back to the mini-van. "Guys, somebody call an ambulance!"

"No, it's too late for that!" said Izzie. "But, there is one thing you could do for me.." At that moment, Cristina leapt out of the bushes, pointing her scalpel at Cooper.

"Give us all your clothes!"

* * *

Soon after, Izzie and Cristina looked at Meredith, now dressed in Cooper's clothes, while Cooper stood nearby in his underwear, shivering.

"Yeah.. This really isn't working for me" Meredith frowned, looking down at herself, while her sidekicks burst out laughing.

"Coop, what the hell is taking so long?" cried Charlotte, as she and the other Oceansiders piled out of the van. Meredith, Cristina and Izzie glanced at them, grinning.

* * *

"I'm so sorry about this guys, but it's an emergency!" cried Meredith, jumping into the driver's seat of the mini-van, while her sidekicks climbed in the back. She was now wearing Charlotte's clothes, having tied she and the other Oceansiders to a tree. "I swear I'll make it up to you!" Meredith continued, starting the engine and driving off into the distance. "Unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.."


	18. Imposter In Seattle Grace

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

A little while later, Meredith and co arrived back in the main city of Seattle in their 'borrowed' mini-van, receiving a much kinder reception than the first time around. A little old lady waved cheerily as they drove past, and Meredith smiled and waved back. A group of young men wolf whistled. Meredith winked at them, and Izzie tossed her her hair in a sexy way. They soon pulled up outside Seattle Grace, and climbed out of the van. The building was heavily guarded at the moment to avoid any disruption to the Prom preparations, and as they approached the hospital doors, two security guards met them, not recognising Meredith in her new bright and shiny state.

"State your name and business" one of the guards ordered.

"I need to speak to Doctor Shepherd" Meredith grinned. "Tell him his wife is here to see him."

"Um.. Okay" said the guard, confused, heading off to find Derek while the other one returned to his post.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the hospital, Derek was just waking up. He dragged himself out of bed, hobbled to the bathroom, and splashed water on his face to help himself wake up. Then Derek caught sight of himself in the mirror. His normally scruffy hobo hair was now perfect again. He was fresh faced and clean-shaven. His bloodshot eyes had returned to their original, clear blue. He was McDreamy again. So, he screamed.

* * *

"Derek!" cried Meredith, pushing past the remaining guard and running into the building upon hearing her husband's cry.

* * *

"Meredith?" cried Derek happily, running out of the room to search for his wife.

* * *

"Derek?" Meredith called, running down the corridor towards Derek's room.

* * *

"Meredith?" cried Derek, running down the opposite corridor, just missing Meredith.

* * *

"Derek!" Meredith cried happily as she burst into the room, only to find a familiar Cardio-Godmother and some stern looking surgical staff where she had expected her husband to be.

"Hello, Meredith" Hahn grinned evilly.

* * *

"Meredith?" Derek called, running outside and looking around.

"Hi, Derek!" Izzie grinned, waving cheerily to draw his attention.

"Wha.. Izzie?" said Derek in shock.

"Yep, in the flesh! And look at you, all McDreamy and stuff! That sure was a great potion, huh?"

"Potion?" said Derek, confused.

"Yeah!" said Izzie. "Mer and I drank this magic potion, and now, to quote a certain Ped's surgeon, I'm awesome! And Meredith's bright and shiny!" At that moment, Derek looked over Izzie's shoulder and caught sight of Cristina, who was carving her initials into a bench with her scalpel.

"Meredith?" he asked nervously. Cristina looked up, grinning seductively.

"For you Dream-boy, I could be."

"You wish!" Izzie scoffed, rolling her eyes before turning back to Derek. "Mer just went inside looking for you."

"Thanks, Izzie" Derek grinned, before heading back inside, calling Meredith's name.

* * *

"Derek!" Meredith cried, hearing her husband's call and running to the door to go to him, only to find her path blocked by Hahn's surgical staff. Meredith turned and glared at the Cardio-Godmother. "Let me go, Hahn" she growled.

"You really want to leave so soon, dear?" said Hahn in a sickly sweet tone. "I thought you wanted to see Derek."

"Where is he?" yelled Meredith, eyes widening in fear and anger. She lunged at Hahn, but found herself being held back by the surgical staff again. "What have you done with him?"

"Temper, temper, you're going to have to watch that" Hahn smirked evilly. "Why, I'd never dream of harming a single perfect hair on sweet Derek's head" her grin widened as she pointed out the window. "He's just out there, on the balcony opposite this one.."

* * *

"Meredith?" Derek called, heading out onto said balcony.

"Derek?" called an unfamiliar voice from behind him. Derek turned, finding himself staring into, unbeknownst to him, the face of Nurse Rose.

"Meredith?" he asked uncertainly. Rose nodded. "You look.. different."

"Of course I do, due to the effects of the potion" Rose grinned.

"What's wrong with your voice?" Derek frowned.

"Uh.. the potion changed a lot of things, Derek" said Rose quickly, taking the Neuro Attending's hand and kissing it. "But not the way I feel about you." At that moment, the Chief and Adele appeared, having been searching for Derek after his scream.

"Rose?" asked the Chief, shocked.

"I agree, roses will be a perfect Prom flower" Rose chuckled, covering his slip. "So Chief, how do you like the new me?" The Chief struggled to form a sentence, and Adele was very confused by this turn of events.

"Who are you?" she asked suspiciously, eyes narrowed.

"Adele, it's me, Meredith" said Rose, grabbing the very uncomfortable looking Derek and pulling him to her. "I know you never get a second chance at a first impression, but what do you think?"

* * *

"Derek!" Meredith screamed, watching helplessly as the scene unfold. "Derek, I'm in here!"

"Derek, Derek! Help me Derek!" Hahn mocked. "He can't hear you, Sweetie. And forgive me for saying so, but I think you've been messing up his life for long enough."

"I just wanted him to be happy.." Meredith sighed.

"And now he is" said Hahn. "He has his beautiful Nurse Rose. It's all for the best."

"But I've changed so much for him" said Meredith, looking over her current bright and shiny form.

"Honestly Sweetheart, you have to stop pretending that your story has a happily ever after" said Hahn, laying a falsely sympathetic hand on our hero's shoulder. "He's a McDreamy attending, and you're dark and twisty. No potion can ever change that."

"But.. I love him" said Meredith sadly, watching as Derek reluctantly draped an arm around Rose's shoulders.

"Well, you know what they say" said Hahn, trying to keep a grin from breaking out over her face. "If you really loved him, you'd let him go.."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the forest, Mark was bolting on foot towards Seattle to warn Meredith, when he passed by a group of medical professionals, and a couple in their underwear, tied to a tree. As he was in a hurry, he almost passed them by, before realising that he recognised two of them.

"Sam? Naomi?" he asked, panting, as he skidded to a stop. "What the hell happened to you guys?"

"Some dermatology resident and her friends stole our van" Sam explained.

"And our clothes!" said Cooper and Charlotte in unison, annoyed.

"What brings you here?" asked Naomi, "And would you mind helping us out?"

"Sure to the second one" said Mark, as he pulled out his scalpel to cut the ropes. "The first part's a long story, come with me into Seattle and I'll tell you on the way.."


	19. The Truth Comes Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: The conversation in which Izzie tries to convince Meredith not to give up on Derek is altered from the one in the movie, so I hope you like it!

* * *

Izzie looked up expectantly as Meredith exited the hospital, but quickly frowned when she realised that Derek wasn't with her, and that for some reason, her friend looked completely devastated.

"Meredith?" she asked, concerned.

"Are you okay?" asked Cristina, frowning. Meredith didn't reply, just walked sadly in the direction of the parking lot.

"Are we going somewhere Mer?" said Izzie. Meredith gave a tiny, barely noticable nod. "Will we be back in time for the Prom?"

"We're not going to the Prom, Iz" said Meredith sadly.

"Okay.. Well, where's Derek?" At Izzie's words, Meredith emitted a strangled sob that she had been trying to hold back, and let her tears fall freely.

"Do you ever know when to shut up?" Cristina snapped, glaring at Izzie, before rushing to comfort Meredith.

* * *

Back inside the Hospital, Derek walked off awkwardly arm in arm with Rose. Adele turned to her husband, who seemed rather uncomfortable with the situation.

"Richard" she asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion, "You didn't happen to have anything do with this, did you?"

"What? No, of course not, said the Chief with a nervous chuckle. Adele frowned, then sighed. She sensed that something about the new 'Meredith' wasn't quite right, but without proof, there was nothing she could do.

* * *

Not too much later, Meredith, Izzie, and Cristina sat at the bar moping. Down the other end of the bar, Callie slumped against it doing the same thing, but Meredith, who'd only seen her in pictures anyway, was too depressed to notice her, while Izzie was too focused on Meredith to notice, and for Cristina, who didn't know her companions had a friend searching for the woman, the sight of her roommate drowning her sorrows was too common to bother commenting. Callie, for her part, was too depressed herself to pay them much attention.

"Thanks, Joe" Cristina sighed as the barman arrived with a round of tequila shots. "Keep 'em coming, we've had a rough day."

"I don't get it, Mer" Izzie frowned. "You love Derek, he's the best thing that ever happened to you. How could you just give up on him without a fight?"

"I didn't have a choice, Izzie. He's happier with" Meredith sighed, "Nurse Rose."

"Are you kidding?" Izzie yelled. "She is _so _not his type. I say we go back to Seattle Grace and talk to Derek.."

"No, Iz" said Meredith. "I'm going to stop poking my nose in where it's not wanted. This way, the Chief gets what he wants, and Derek get's what he's always deserved. It's what's best for everyone."

"Everyone except you" Izzie frowned. As much of a goofball as Izzie usually was, she was also prone to moments of great insight, particularly where Meredith was concerned. This was one of those moments. "I know you say that you've looked at all the facts here Mer, but you seem to be forgetting the most important one: _You love Derek!_"

"Which is why I have to let him go" Meredith. "So he can be with his real true love.."

"Oh, come on!" Izzie scoffed, beginning to become as annoyed with Meredith as Meredith was with her a great deal of the time. "You really think he wants that perky little nurse for his true love? Because she's not, she's only the type of girl he wanted before he met you."

"That's kinda the point" Meredith frowned.

"No, it's not even close! I've learnt alot of things since I started hanging out with you Mer, and one of those things is that love is unpredictable" said Izzie. "You can have all these ideas in your head of the perfect guy or girl, but the truth is, you can never know who your true love is until you find them. You think I ever expected to be shacking up with an evil spawn?"

"Your boyfriend's an evil spawn?" said Cristina, erupting into a fit of laughter. "How the hell does that work?"

"Alex is very creative" said Izzie, blushing, before turning back to Meredith. "But that's not the point! The point is Mer, that you can't give up on Derek!"

"She's right, you know" came a voice from the end of the bar. "If you have the chance to be with your true love, you should grab it with both hands and not let go. I wish I could.."

"Oh my God, Callie?" cried Izzie, finally noticing the other woman. Callie looked up, suddenly realising why that voice was so familiar.

"Izzie?"

"Yeah! Mark's been out looking for you for days!"

"Really?" said Callie, a little excited. She had never been happier to see Izzie Stevens than she was right now.

"Hang on, you guys know each other?" asked Cristina, confused.

"Uh-huh. Her girlfriend's helping house-sit for Meredith."

"She is?" said Callie as a huge smile, her first in months, spread over her face. "How is she? Did Sydney hurt her? How.." As the unlikely pair of Izzie and Callie chatted away, Cristina's eyes were drawn to a familiar hooded figure entering the bar, and she gasped as his hood slipped back a little. His face was only visible for a few seconds, but they were more than enough for Cristina to recognise him.

"Hey Mer" she whispered, nudging her friend's arm. "That's the Chief!" Meredith looked over, frowning, as he approached the bar, and her sudden interest caused him to catch Izzie and Callie's attention as well.

"Is she here?" The Chief asked Joe.

"Yeah" Joe replied, clearly uncomfortable. "Down there, to your right." The Chief nodded his thanks, heading in the direction the barman had indicated.

"I wonder what he's doing here.." Meredith frowned.

"There's a window looking into that room round the back" said Callie, standing and gesturing for her new companions to follow. "Come on."

* * *

The now gang of four crept around to the back of the bar and peeked through the window into a small, dirty looking room occupied by The Chief, Hahn, Nurse Rose, and a few of Hahn's security guards.

"Erica?" Callie gasped.

"Seriously, do you know all of the random people I've met the past two days?" Cristina frowned. Meredith shushed them and pointed to the window.

"You better have a good reason for bringing us to this dump, Richard" said Hahn, annoyed.

"Well.. I'm a little concerned" said the Chief nervously. "Derek just isn't warming up to Rose."

"And that's my fault?" Rose shrieked annoyingly. "You think it's easy for me pretending to be that dark and twisty woman? It's not my fault that Derek's too stubborn to accept that things have changed!"

"Of course, it's nobody's fault.." said the Chief, backing away a few paces. "But you know, I think it might be better if we just, er, call the whole thing off."

"WHAT?" screamed Hahn and Rose.

"We can't force Derek to love Rose" The Chief pointed out.

"Oh, but we can" Hahn grinned evilly, pulling a small heart shaped bottle filled with a glowing pink liquid from the pocket of her lab coat.

"What's that?" asked the Chief nervously.

"A love potion" said Hahn. "One drop and the drinker will fall head over heels for the first person he kisses. All you have to do is slip a little into Derek's tea tonight before the Prom."

"What.. I.. No!" The Chief yelled, straightening himself up and standing tall.

"What?" Hahn hissed.

"I won't do it!" said the Chief. "This has gone on for.." Before he could finish, Hahn raised her magic scalpel and sent him flying into the wall.

"Now you listen, and you listen good! You will give Derek the potion, Richard" said Hahn coldly, pressing the blade of her scalpel to The Chief's cheek. "Remember, I gave you your happily ever after, and I can take it away just as easily." The Chief gulped, and, reluctantly, nodded. "I'm glad we still understand each other. Now let's wrap this up, I have to work on Rose's hair before the Prom."

"I can do it by myself!" said Rose, annoyed.

"The front, yes, but you can never reach the back" said Hahn. "You always need me to do the back for you, don't you?"

"Yes, Cousin Erica" Rose sighed.

"Cousin Erica?" cried Izzie entirely too loudly, drawing attention to the group outside the window.

"Uh.. Hey look, it's Doctor Model!" cried Meredith, pointing at Izzie in a vain attempt at feigning innocence.

"Mer, I told you that in confidence!" yelled Izzie, annoyed.

"Get them!" Hahn yelled to the guards.

"Nice one, doofus" Cristina frowned, slapping Izzie on the back of the head as they fled.


	20. Bright And Shinies To The Rescue!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: A nice long chapter :)

* * *

Back at the hospital, Derek's younger sister Amelia had taken the job of hosting the Prom arrivals show.

"Hi!" she grinned into the camera. "The abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at tonight's Seattle Grace Prom!" A limo pulled up behind her, and a woman climbed out of it. "Oh, the guests are arriving! Look, it's Doctor Wyatt!" The Psychologist waved to the crowd, heading up the red carpet towards the hospital. "Everyone's here to honor my big brother Derek and his wife, Meredith, and the outfits are fabulous!" Amelia continued, as another limo arrived. "And who's this?" the door opened, and an unconscious old man fell out. "It's really old guy!" Nurses Olivia and Tyler rushed over with a gurney, heaving the old man onto it, and rushed off, as Amelia consulted her list of Prom attendees, written in order of their expected arrival times. "Okay, next we should have my friends from the Oceanside Wellness Centre!" She looked behind her, frowning when the van her friends used for group trips failed to appear. "They must be running a little late. Oh, this is a big one!" she grinned, looking back to her list as a diamond encrusted limo appeared. "This is.. this is.. Who is this?" she asked the camera man, confused. Suddenly, the limo exploded into a shower of colorful sparks, revealing Hahn. "It's Erica Hahn, the Cardio-Godmother!"

"Hello, people of Seattle!" Hahn cried as she headed for the hospital doors. "Can I get a whoop, whoop!"

"Whoop, whoop!" the crowd cheered.

"Thank you, thank you!" Hahn grinned as she headed inside. "May all your endings be happy!"

* * *

_"We'll be back with more of the Seattle Grace Prom, right after these messages."_

Back at Meredith's house, her bright and shiny housesitters were watching the show on T.V.

"I hate these Prom shows" Arizona grumbled. "Hey, flip over to _The L Word._"

"I'm not flipping anywhere 'til I see Meredith and Derek" said George, who controlled the remote, from his place lounging on the floor. Arizona groaned in annoyance, but sighed, letting it go.

"Hey, Steve" she yelled to the intern raiding the kitchen, "Toss me one of Izzie's muffins."

"Sure thing, Doctor Robbins!" said Steve. Unfortunately, Steve had terrible aim, and the muffin landed in the fishbowl, in which the corpses of 'Meredith' and 'Derek' still floated. Arizona sighed again, then turned back to George.

"Could you switch to something else just for the ad break, please?"

"Okay" George relented, flipping to the next channel.

_"Today on 'Security Guard Chases Caught On Tape.."_

On screen, four women, two blondes, an asian, and a latina, were running through the forest, attempting to escape the security guards pursuing them. Arizona's eyes were instantly drawn to the latina member of the group.

_"Four eavesdroppers escaping through the forest!" shouted one guard into his radio._

The guards soon surrounded the women, seizing them, and trying to wrestle them into a nearby paddy wagon.

_"Let me go, please!" shouted the Latina. "I need to call my girlfriend, we got separated months ago and I've only just found out where she is!"_

"Isn't that.." April began.

"Calliope" Arizona finished for her, a lump forming in her throat.

_"Police brutality, police brutality!" yelled a familiar bright and shiny blonde as she was shoved into the wagon._

"Izzie!" cried George.

_"I need to speak to Doctor Derek Shepherd!" cried the other blonde, struggling against the arms that restrained her._

"She looks kind of familiar.." Bailey frowned, while Jackson nodded in agreement.

_"Stolen sparkle pager" said one of the guards, pulling the offending item from the Asian's pocket._

_"Hey, that's not stolen!" she yelled, "It's not even mine!" _

_"It's really important that I speak to Derek!" The blonde yelled again. "I'm Meredith, his wife, Meredith!"_

"Hang on, rewind that!" cried Arizona, jumping to her feet. George did so.

"Good thing she's got Tivo" said Burke.

_"I'm Meredith, his wife, Meredith!"_

The bright and shinies looked at each other in shock.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" said Arizona eventually. "We've got a rescue to mount!"

"Why are you the boss?" Reed frowned.

"Because I'm awesome, now move!"

* * *

Meanwhile at Seattle Grace, The Chief, at war with himself, stared at two freshly made cups of tea. He hesitated, then poured a drop of the love potion into the cup intended for Derek, wincing when a plume of heart shaped smoke billowed out of it. He sighed sadly as he put the cups on a tray, carrying them into his heir's room. Derek was standing on the balcony, looking down sadly at 'Meredith' posing and blowing kisses to the crowd.

"Hello, Derek" The Chief said cheerily, forcing a smile. "I thought you might like some tea before the prom."

"I'm not going" said Derek sadly.

"But you have to! All these people have come here to celebrate your Marriage!"

"Only one problem, Chief" said Derek, pointing out the window. "That's not my wife!"

"I know she's a little.. Well, diferent now" said The Chief awkwardly. "But sometimes people change for the ones they love. I did, for Adele. Just give it some time, you may find you like the new Meredith."

"But it's the old one I fell in love with" said Derek sadly, reaching for one of the cups.

"Not that one!" The Chief cried suddenly, snatching it away from him, and handing him the other cup. "That's mine. There's a little more sugar in yours."

"Thanks Chief" Derek smiled. The Chief chuckled nervously, contemplating the magnitude of what he had just done, and very much doubting that things would end well.

* * *

Elsewhere, in some kind of cylindrical prison with a barred roof, Meredith, Izzie, Cristina, and Callie had found themselves chained to the wall.

"Let us out of here!" yelled Izzie, the only member of the group still bothering to struggle. Meredith and Cristina had both quickly realised that it was pointless, and Callie's spirit was broken once again by the apparent loss of her chance to reunite with Arizona. "You can't do this to us! We have rights! I have the right to remain silent, nobody said I had the right to remain silent!"

"Izzie, you have the right to remain silent!" Meredith snapped. "What you lack is the capacity!"

"Okay" said Cristina, looking around at her companions, "I have to keep focused, before I too go completely insane."

"Meredith? Izzie?" came a familiar voice. Cristina looked up to see a Ped's attending with what looked like a teddy bear tucked into her pocket, along with a General surgery attending, four residents, and three interns, all looking down on them.

"Too late" She sighed, thinking she was hallucinating.

"Arizona!" grinned Izzie and Meredith in unison. Callie hesitated before looking up slowly, hardly daring to believe her girlfriend was really there.

"Arizona!" she cried, eyes filling with tears of happiness when she saw her.

"Hi, Calliope" Arizona smiled, fighting back her own happy tears. "Don't worry, we'll have you all out of here in a jiffy."

"Great!" Meredith beamed. "I should have known I could count on you guys." Although admittedly, our hero was mildly concerned when she saw Intern Pierce pull out what looked like sticks of dynamite, and more so when she saw a grinning Steve attempting to light them. Unfortunately, or perhaps very fortunately, the clumsy intern's hand slipped, and the match was sent flying through the bars, past our heroes, and down into the bottom of the Prison.

"Which one of you fools gave the damn matches to Steve?" Bailey scolded. Intern Megan gave a nervous chuckle, while Jackson snatched the matches and dynamite from the other interns. He lit the dynamite, then waited until it was just about to explode, then tossed it through the bars.

"Fire in the hole!" shouted April, as she and the othe bright and shinies backed away a few paces to avoid the explosion, which obliterated most of the bars.

"You're up, George" said Arizona. George nodded, taking the key to his friend's chains, which the bright and shinies had stolen, from Bailey. He strapped himself into a harness, attatched a rope to said harness, and the rope to a remaining part of the bars. He then tried to pull off a heroic, Mission Impossible-like flip into the prison, but got himself tangled up halfway down. Arizona rolled her eyes, then slid down the rope after him, untangling him and perching herself a little uncomfortably on his back as they were lowered closer to their friends, directly in the middle of them as a matter of fact.

"Uh, now what geniuses?" said Cristina sarcastically.

"Cristina, be nice" Meredith frowned. "I don't see anyone else rushing to help us, do you?"

"No" Cristina grumbled. "I'm not sure I like shiny happy you, Mer." Meredith just grinned.

"We'll have to swing across, and George can grab on while I unlock the chains" said Arizona. "We'll do you first, um, Cristina was it?" she knew she'd probably linger on Callie, so it was fairest on everyone else to save them first.

"Yeah" Cristina nodded. Arizona stood up to make it easier to build momentum, and she and George began to swing. But, as they swung, George's scrub pants began to slip down, and Arizona, given their current close proximity, couldn't help noticing what he had on underneath them.

"George, is that.."

"No" George squeaked, quickly reaching behind him to pull his pants back up.

"I saw it too!" Izzie cried. "George is wearing ladies underwear!"

"Are you really?" Meredith questioned, smirking.

"No.." said George, embarassed. Arizona, wearing a smirk of her own, sneaked a quick peak.

"It's a thong!" she yelled, collapsing into a fit of giggles.

"No, it's briefs, they're just way too small!" George yelled, before sighing in defeat. "I lost a bet with Alex, okay?"

"Really?" Izzie, if it was possible, perked up more. "How is he?"

"I don't know" George shrugged. "I haven't seen him since he took of for that spawning season thing."

"Oh.." Izzie sighed.

"Not that this isn't completely hilarious" Cristina frowned, "But we are working against the clock here, you know."

"Right" Arizona nodded. "Back to swinging." Again, they swung, and soon managed to reach Cristina. Arizona unlocked her chains, pulling her to safety on George who groaned a little under the extra weight.

"Okay, thanks" Cristina admitted a little grudgingly, before climbing up the rope. Jackson helped her up at the top, giving her a pat on the back as if to say 'Welcome to the team'. Now having built up a good momentum, Arizona and George easily rescued Izzie, Meredith, and finally, Callie.

"Hey, you" Arizona grinned, stealing a quick kiss when she reached her girlfriend.

"Hey yourself" Callie grinned back, as Arizona freed her. Once everyone was gathered at the top of the prison, Meredith quickly took charge.

"We have to get back to Seattle Grace, guys. We can't let Rose kiss Derek!"

"I thought you were going to let him go" Izzie smirked.

"I was, but I can't let them do this to him!" said Meredith, a look of determination crossing her still bright and shiny features. "You were right, Iz. I'm Derek's true love, nobody else."

"Yeah!" Izzie grinned. "Now you're talking sense!"

"Yeah, great, but how are we even going to get there in time?" Cristina frowned. "And even if we do, there's no way Hahn's gonna risk us getting in." Meredith thought for a moment, then grinned.

"Hey, Arizona" she began. Arizona, who was making out with Callie nearby, didn't respond. "Arizona.." Meredith repeated a little louder, clearing her throat. Still no response. "Arizona!" Meredith snapped.

"Oh! Sorry" Arizona pulled away from Callie, blushing. "Were you asking something?"

"Yeah" said Meredith. "Do you still know Desert storm Barbie?"

"You mean Teddy?" said Arizona. "Sure. I only called her that so Sydney couldn't find her. She still lives here near Seattle Grace. Why?"

"'Cause we're gonna need ammo" Meredith grinned. "Lots and lots of ammo.."


	21. Next Stop, Seattle Grace!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

A little while later, Desert Storm Barbie, usually known as Doctor Teddy Altman, had just put the finishing touches on a special project she had been working on, when she heard a knock at her door. She got up to answer it, and her eyes lit up at the sight of the person heading up the group on the other side.

"Arizona!" she cried happily, hugging her friend.

"It's good to see you too, Teddy" Arizona grinned, returning the hug. "So, me and my friends here are gonna go crash the Prom, and we were kinda hoping that since you're ex-army and all you might have something to help us out."

"I've got the perfect thing, I just finished working on it now!" said Teddy, waving them all inside.

* * *

"This is awesome!" Arizona grinned, after Teddy had unveiled her creation.

"I think it's kinda creepy" Callie frowned.

"A little.. But still awesome!"

"The original plan was to march it through the city and see if anyone knew where you were" Teddy explained with a shrug.

"Then what's with the damn machine guns in its fingers?" asked Bailey.

"The message of a giant robot stomping through Seattle could easily be misinterpreted" said Teddy. Meredith glanced nervously at her watch.

"Okay guys, it'll have to do" she said. "Let's go."

* * *

Mark, now accompanied by the Oceansiders, had reached the outskirts of Seattle, still on his way to warn Meredith, when he spotted a motorbike, driven by a Korean woman with Izzie riding on the back. Izzie had spotted him too, and the bike's driver stopped at her urging.

"Stevens! Boy am I glad to see you!" Mark beamed as he ran over to her. "I have to warn Meredith about Erica Hahn's evil plot. Where is she?"

"Uh.." At that moment the ground around them began to shake. Mark and the Oceansiders turned around, jaws dropping when they saw the giant robotic replica of Doctor Arizona Robbins, dubbed the Arizobot, headed their way. Meredith, Callie, and the real Arizona rode on one of the robot's shoulders, while Teddy rode on the other, controlling it with a remote. "Well, guess that answers your question" said Izzie, as the bike once again sped off. "See ya!"

"Mark!" Callie cried happily, waving down to her best friend. "Mark, it's me!" Mark squinted to be sure his eyes weren't decieving him, then grinned.

"Torres! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"I know!" Callie beamed.

"Climb aboard, Doctor Sloan!" Teddy smiled, lowering the Arizobot's hand to pick him up, and lifting him onto it's shoulder to join Callie and the others.

"Hey, what about us?" yelled Cooper, annoyed.

"Uh.. Are you guys up for kicking some Cardio-Godmother butt?" Meredith asked them.

"As in Erica Hahn, the Cardio-Godmother?" said Violet.

"Yeah" Meredith replied. The Oceansiders looked at each other, and nodded.

"We're in" said Sam.

"Then follow the giant robot!" cried Mark, grinning.

"Never thought I'd hear that sentence" Pete muttered to himself, he and the other Oceansiders chasing the Arizobot as it headed into the City.

* * *

"Run for your lives!" Izzie screamed from the back of the motorbike. She and Cristina had driven ahead to try and sound the alarm and clear a path for the Arizobot, stiomping along a short distance behind them. People screamed in terror as it approached, scattering in all directions. "Yes, run!" Izzie continued. "Get off the streets, it's not safe!"

"Limited edition heelys!" squealed Arizona, pointing to the nearby shoe store. "Let's go look!"

"There's no time!" yelled Meredith, annoyed.

"Sorry Arizona, but I'm gonna have to agree with her" said Teddy. "From what you guys have told me, we really don't have time to.. Hey, there's a sale on bird-patterned scrub caps!" As Teddy attempted to turn the Arizobot towards the store selling said scrub caps, Meredith snatched the remote away from her. After moving the Arizobot a few shaky steps forward, the threw up her hands in exasperation.

"Okay, I'm obviously no good at this" she grumbled, thrusting the remote at Callie. "Here. It's either you or Mark, and I don't trust Mark to be responsible with a giant robot."

"Hey!" yelled Mark, annoyed.

"That is probably best" said Teddy. "After all, the Arizobot is programmed to respond well to Callie."

"Really? Why?" Callie asked. Teddy rolled her eyes.

"Because it's Arizona. Duh."

"Oh, right" said Callie, taking the remote from Meredith. "Okay Arizobot, next stop Seattle Grace!"


	22. Crashing The Prom

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: I've Greysified the words to 'I Need A Hero' in this chapter. If you guys have any better ones I can go back and change it, but I think I've done pretty well.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Seattle Grace, a very reluctant Derek was about to enter the hospital's outer grounds where the Prom was being held. He hesitated as Rose took his arm, then headed out to face the crowd.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome my big brother Doctor Derek Shepherd, and his new wife, Doctor Meredith Grey!" Amelia announced proudly, waving to him. Derek waved back, but still felt uncomfortable, and became even more so when 'Meredith' began striking weird poses for the cameras.

"Meredith, what the hell are you doing?" he snapped, embarassed.

"Just playing the part, Honey."

"Honey?" Derek frowned. Meredith never called him Honey. The light caught her mouth, and his frown deepened. "Is that glitter on your lips?"

"It's cherry flavoured" Rose grinned, pulling Derek towards her and going for a kiss. "Want a taste?"

"Get off me!" said Derek, disgusted, pushing her away and turning to head back inside. Rose glanced worriedly over at Hahn, who frowned, then quickly formed a plan, jumping onto the stage that had been set up for the Prom.

"Charles!" she snapped at the former Mercy Wester who still, unfortunately, hadn't worked out how to remove himself rom her service. "Put the Piano in C minor, quick!"

"Yes, Doctor Hahn" Charles sighed, doing as he was told while Hahn grabbed a microphone.

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to Doctor Shepherd and Doctor Grey" The Cardio-Godmother grinned, waving her magic scalpel to shine a spotlight on Rose and the retreating Derek. He groaned, annoyed. He'd never be able to sneak away now.

"Care to dance?" Rose asked. Derek sighed, resigned to his fate, and took her hand, letting her lead him to the dance floor as Hahn began to sing.

_"Where's the Chief of Surgery gone and where the hell's the Board? Where's a streetwise Trauma Doc, to stabilise these obs?"_

"Where did you learn to dance like this?" Derek asked, confused, as he and his 'wife' moved smoothly around the floor.

"Derek dear, if I've learned anything, it's that love is full of surprises" Rose grinned.

_"Isn't there an ambulance that moves with fiery speed? Late at night, I toss and turn and I dream of what I need!_-Hit it!" she paused, grinning, as the song really kicked off. _"I need a surgeon! I'm holding out for a surgeon 'til the end of the night!"_

* * *

Meanwhile, the Arizobot was finally in view of Seattle Grace, while Cristina and Izzie had now pulled back to follow it from behind.

"Nearly there!" Callie grinned, steering her girlfriend's giant robot double towards the heavily guarded hospital. The guards eyes widened in terror, all rushing off to prepare their defenses.

"Alright Arizobot, let's crash this party!" Meredith yelled, while Mark, Teddy, and the real Arizona whooped in agreement.

* * *

_"She's gotta be strong, and she's gotta be fast, and she's gotta be on call tonight!"_

* * *

"Fire the bazookas!" ordered the head guard, along with a group of others now standing on the hospital roof.

"Everybody down!" yelled Callie as she worked furiously at the Arizobot's controls, trying to avoid the shots. Most of them missed, but one of them hit the Arizobot square in the chest, causing a certain soft toy in it's pocket to plummet into a fiery heap on the ground.

"Not Mr Teddy!" cried Arizona, horrified. The Arizobot gave a roar of anger, then advanced on the guards responsible.

"What the hell?" cried Callie, uselessly mashing buttons.

"I forgot to mention, it takes control of itself when it gets pissed off" Teddy explained a little sheepishly.

"Oh, that's just great!" said Mark sarcastically.

* * *

_"She's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon, and she's gotta be larger than life!"_

Rose put one of the flowers she was named after into her mouth, launching herself and the still confused Derek into a tango. The Chief sighed sadly as he looked on, and Adele frowned, still suspicious of her husband's involvement in the appearance of the new 'Meredith'.

* * *

"Alright, yeah!" cheered Izzie from behind as the Arizobot opened fire on the guards (They were all wearing bulletproof vests, so no-one was really hurt). "Go Arizobot, go!"

* * *

_"Somewhere after my shift, in my wildest fantasy, somewhere down in that O.R there's someone doing surgery."_

* * *

"Man your weapons!" cried the head guard. "Don't let them in, Hahn's orders!"

"Look out!" cried Cristina, as the Arizobot began dodging a new wave of gunfire.

* * *

_"Racing with the heart rate, and rising BP! It's gonna take a super doc to really impress me!"_

* * *

By now, the Arizobot had taken a few hits, but wasn't backing down. Arizona let out a yelp, clinging to Callie as a bullet wizzed past their heads. Sensing that Callie had been endangered, the Arizobot gave another angry roar.

"Destroy that thing!" yelled the guard. "Hit it with all you've got!"

* * *

_"Up where the mountains meet the Heavens above, out where the lightning splits the sea.."_

As Rose continued to twirl him around, Derek prayed for the song to end.

* * *

As the Arizobot began to be torn apart by the gunfire, it's final act was lift Callie and her human counterpart to safety.

"She's going down!" yelled Meredith, as she and Mark bailed from the falling robot.

"Nooo! My creation!" cried Teddy.

"You can build a new one, now jump!" Mark shouted.

"Build a new one? Do you know much this thing cost?"

"Just jump!" snapped Meredith, Mark, Callie, and Arizona in unison. Teddy sighed, and obeyed.

* * *

_"I would swear that there's someone doing surgery!"_

* * *

As Cristina sped by on the bike, Meredith jumped on behind Izzie, grinning as they crashed through the hospital doors and went speeding through the halls, heading for the Prom. The others ran along behind them, raising the alarm as the Security Guards gave chase.

* * *

_"Through the wind and the chill and the rain, and the storm and the flood, I can feel her cut like the fire in my blood!_

* * *

As they turned a corner, a group of guards appeared to block their path. Cristina jumped the bike over their heads, and in their shock the rest of the group easily evaded them.

* * *

_"I need a surgeon! I'm holding out for a surgeon 'til the morning light!"_

* * *

Looking around and seeing that their pursuers were gaining on them, Cristina frowned, then leapt from the bike, leaving Izzie in control.

* * *

_"She's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon, and she's gotta be larger than life!"_

* * *

"Cristina!" Meredith cried, as Izzie pulled the bike to a stop, and Callie gave her a look as if to say 'What the hell are you doing?"

"McDreamy needs you, go! I'll catch up later" Cristina yelled at them. Meredith hesitated, then told Izzie to go on. The others followed. "Okay" Cristina took a deep breath as the guards closed in. "Time to repay my debt." She put on a really fake looking sad face. Fortunately, these particular guards weren't the smartest guys in the world.

"Aww.." they sighed sympathetically. Having them distracted, Cristina scowled, whipped out her scalpel, and began to fight.

* * *

_"She's gotta be strong, and she's gotta be fast, and she's gotta be on call tonight! I need a surgeon!"_

As the song ended, Rose leaned in for a kiss.

"STOP!" roared Meredith, bursting through the doors.

* * *

AN: Yes, I no three people on a motorbike would be a tight squeeze, but humour me.


	23. Pass The Scalpel

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: Sorry about the wait. I have a lot of fics on the go at the moment.

* * *

"Hey you!" yelled Meredith, pointing accusingly at Rose, "Get away from my Husband!"

"Meredith?" Derek pulled away from Rose and turned to his wife, instantly realising the truth.

"You!" Hahn shrieked, raising her scalpel. "You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? Well.."

"Now!" yelled Cristina, appearing at Meredith's side. The bright and shinies began to emerge from their hiding spots among the crowd.

"Go, Mercy Westers!" cried the Mercy Westers, including Charles who had rejoined his colleagues when he saw them. They tossed Reed into the air, and she flipped onto the stage, tackling Hahn.

"Get off me!" Hahn snapped, annoyed.

"George, get her scalpel!" Meredith ordered, as Callie helped her hurl him towards the stage by the back of the harness he had been wearing to rescue them earlier. As Hahn pushed Reed off, George flew by and made a grab for the scalpel, but missed, and Hahn zapped him, turning him into an army surgeon.

"Hey, I'm an Army surgeon!" he cried happily, falling to the ground with a thump. Hahn lunged towards Meredith, but Bailey leapt protectively in front of her, wielding a super powered hairdryer.

"Oh no, I'm not gonna let you hurt this girl! Take that!" She switched the hairdryer on, blowing Hahn's scalpel out of her hand. Naomi scooped it up before Hahn or her surgical staff could reach it, quickly tossing it to Mark, who then tossed it to April.

"What the hell am I paying you for?" Hahn screeched at her surgical staff. "Hurry up and get my scalpel back!" April gave a nervous squeak as the Cardio God-Mother's workers advanced on her, and, panicking, closed her eyes and threw the scalpel as hard as she could. The surgical staff scrambled to catch it, but failed, Izzie plucking it from the air above their heads.

"Arizona, heads up!" she cried, throwing it in the Peds surgeon's direction.

"I'm an Army surgeon, I'm an Army surgeon!" chanted George, doing a little happy-dance on stage. Arizona threw the scalpel to Intern Steve, who dropped it, setting it off and zapping George, who returned to his original form. "Aww.."

Seeing the Magic scalpel lying on the ground, Meredith, Callie, and Hahn all dove for it, sending it flying high up in the air, too high for anybody to reach it alone. As it flew above Izzie's head, she crouched a little, and Cristina jumped on her shoulders, grabbing it.

"Yes!" Izzie yelled in victory. "Pray for surgery from Cristina.."

"And Izzie!" Cristina grinned. Hahn scowled. It wasn't over yet.

"Rose, Shepherd drank the potion!" she yelled. "Kiss him now!" Rose obeyed, grabbing Derek and crashing her lips against his.

"NO!" Meredith screamed. Hahn smirked evilly. Derek pulled away from Rose, blinking in apparent surprise. Then, he scowled, and headbutted her, knocking her out.

"Meredith.." he smiled, turning to his wife.

"Derek!" Meredith almost sobbed in relief, running into his open arms. Her friends were relieved too, though also a little confused by this turn of events.

"Richard!" The Cardio-Godmother shrieked, turning on the Chief, "You were supposed to give him the potion!"

"Well, I guess I gave him the wrong tea" The Chief smirked. Unfortunately, while everyone was busy revelling in their victory, they didn't notice Rose wake up, and the annoying nurse snatched the magic scalpel from Cristina's hand, tossing it back to Hahn.

"Cousin Erica, catch!"

"Cousin Erica?" Derek frowned.

"Wait a minute, Erica?" Arizona frowned too, turning to Callie. "As in, your first girlfriend Erica who left town just because you had a minor disagreement?"

"Yup, that's her" Callie nodded.

"Oh, now I'm even happier that we whooped her butt."

Arizona wasn't happy for long though, as Hahn slowly floated into the air, glaring at Meredith.

"I told you!" she screamed, "Dark and twisty people don't live Happily Ever After!" She raised her scalpel, and fired.


	24. Livin' La Vida Loca

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: Another new chap, to make up for the wait on the last one :) Also, I kind of put a little credits type sequence into this chapter to make sure the song was broken up enough.

* * *

Meredith quickly pushed Derek out of harm's way.

"Meredith!" cried Derek, knowing his wife wouldn't have time to move herself. In that moment, after seeing her sacrifice her own safety in exchange for Derek's, The Chief completely forgot his disapproval of her, suddenly remembering a little girl dragging her Anatomy Jane doll around the hospital back when her Mother had worked there.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, diving in front of her at the last second and taking the shot himself, before falling to the ground. The magic rebounded off The Chief's name tag and back at Hahn, causing her to explode in a shower of bubbles.

"Chief Webber!" yelled Derek.

"Richard!" cried Adele, as she, Derek, and Meredith ran over, dropping to their knees beside him.

"Is he.." said George softly.

"Yep" Arizona sighed. "He.." The Chief groaned, sitting up a little.

"..Looks like he's got a hangover" Callie finished her girlfriends sentence. And, while not where Arizona had been going with it originally, this was a fairly accurate desciption of The Chief's current appearance. His eyes were bloodshot, his labcoat and scrubs were stained with various fluids, and it had to be said, he smelled pretty bad.

"Chief?" said Derek, confused.

"Derek, I hoped you'd never have to see me like this.." he sighed. "I'm an alcoholic."

"And he said you had problems!" said Izzie, nose wrinkling.

"Izzie!" Meredith hissed.

"No, she's right" The Chief sighed. "Meredith, you may not know this, but I once had an affair with your Mother." Everyone gasped.

"You know, that actually explains a lot.." Meredith mused.

"I know it must, and I'm sorry" The Chief continued. "Ellis started me drinking, and she didn't take it very well when I ended things. I was worried that you might be like her.. But I was wrong. I just wanted what was best for Derek, but now I see that he already has it. Meredith, Derek, will you accept this old surgeon's apologies? And my blessing?"

"Of course" Derek smiled.

"Thank you" said Meredith.

"No, thank you" The Chief sighed, before standing and beginning to walk away.

"Richard.." Adele called.

"I'm sorry to you too, Adele" he replied, looking back over his shoulder, before turning away again. "I just wanted to be the man you deserve." Adele raced after him catching his arm.

"You're more that man today than you ever were, issues and all" she said, pulling into a hug. "We'll work through your problems together."

The happy moment was cut short when the clock began to chime for 12 0'clock.

"Meredith, the potion!" Cristina yelled.

"Right, Midnight!" said Meredith, grabbing her husband. "Derek, are you happy this way?"

"What?" asked Derek, confused.

"If you kiss me now, we can both stay bright and shiny, forever" Meredith explained.

"You'd really do that for me?" said Derek, touched.

"Of course" Meredith replied. Derek looked to The Chief and Adele, who smiled and nodded, willing to accept any decision he made.

"I want what any attending wants. To live happily ever after.." said Derek seriously. Meredith leaned in for the kiss, but Derek pushed her back. "..With the dark and twisty resident I married" he finished, smiling his McDreamy smile. Meredith grinned, wrapping her arms around them as they floated into the air, returning to their dark and twisty forms, completely content.

"It's so beautiful!" sobbed April, burying her face in Cristina's shoulder.

"Get off me!" Cristina scowled, shoving her away.

As for Izzie, who began to transform with them? Not so beautiful for her.

"No. No!" cried Izzie in despair, as her labcoat disappeared and her scrubs returned to their original sky blue. "I don't wanna change back! Where's Alex when I need him?" Finally, her nametag and whiteboard marker disappeared too, and she floated back to the ground with her friends, a resident once again. "Aww.."

"Hey, Izzie" said Meredith, returned to her dark and twisty glory, "You'll make attending one day. I believe in you."

"Thanks, Mer" Izzie smiled.

"Hey, aren't we supposed to be having a party here?" said Cristina.

"Actually, it's supposed to be a prom" Jackson pointed out.

"Well, either way we need some entertainment, right?" Cristina asked.

"Oh yeah!" Izzie agreed.

* * *

After some minor preparations, Meredith's now united sidekicks took to the stage.

"Yang and Stevens, 'yall" said Izzie, striking a rapper's pose before beginning to sing. "_H__e's in to superstitions, black cats, and voodoo dolls- _Sing it, Cris!"

"_I feel a premonition, that guy's gonna make me fall!_" Cristina did a stage dive, landing in the arms of Owen Hunt.

"Hey" he grinned.

"Hey yourself" she grinned back.

"_He's into new sensations, new kicks in the candle light" _Izzie sang, before Cristina rejoined her on stage.

"_He's got a new addiction for every day and night."_

"Woo!" cried George, busting out some Michael Jackson style dance moves. Derek was dancing with Adele, while Meredith danced with The Chief.

"_He makes you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain!" _Cristina threw her head back and pulled a chain on the stage, dousing herself in water.

"_He makes you live your Crazy life, but he'll take away your pain.."_

_"Like a bullet to your brain!" _They sang together.

Callie and Arizona danced around together, stealing occasional kisses.

_"Upside inside out.."_

_"Livin' la vida loca!" _cried Jackson, singing along as he boogied with the other Mercy Westers.

Rose, who had been remarkably quiet since her cousin's demise, attempted to sneak away through a back entrance, only to find herself confronted by the very angry Oceansiders, all wielding various medical instruments.

"Uh, hi" she chuckled nervously. "I need to get out of here, so if you'll excuse me.."

"Your cousin stole our Practice" said Violet, eyes narrowed.

"And our receptionist!" added Naomi.

"But since she went and got her bubble burst, so to speak, we uh, can't exact revenge on her" said Sheldon.

"So, you're gonna have to do" said Charlotte. As Rose turned to run, the Oceansiders pounced on her.

_"He'll push and pull you down!"_

* * *

_"Livin' la vida loca!"_ sang Teddy from outside, where she was attempting to salvage parts of the Arizobot.

* * *

_"His lips are devil red and his skin is the colour mocha!" _sang Izzie.

Mark, who had joined them on stage at some point, did a stage dive, but the crowd forgot to catch him, and he accidently smooshed Doc the dog as he fell.

"_He will wear you out, livin' la vida loca!" _

_"Ah-ah-ahh-ah-ahh-ah-ahh!" _Izzie sang.

"Nice singing" Cristina grinned.

"Thanks" said Izzie.

"But you know I'm better right?"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah" Cristina smirked. _"Woke up in New York City, in a funky cheap motel.."_

_"He took my heart and he took my money, he must have slipped me a sleeping pill."_

Meredith made a face at one of the cameras filming the Prom.

**'Ellen Pompeo as Meredith Grey'**

"_He never drinks the water, makes you order French Champagne!" _Sang Cristina.

_"And once you've had a taste of him, you'll never be the same! Oh he'll make you go insane!" _Izzie did a power slide across the stage.

**'Katherine Heigl as Izzie Stevens'**

"_Upside inside out, livin la vida loca!"_

"I'm telling you man, I was the first one to discover Hahn's plot!" said Mark. "You would have been totally screwed without me!"

"Sure, Mark" said Derek, rolling his eyes.

**'Patrick Dempsey as Derek Shepherd'**

**'Eric Dane as Mark Sloan'**

_"He'll push and pull you down, livin' la vida loca!" _Cristina busted out some dance moves as she sang.

**'Sandra Oh as Cristina Yang'**

_"His lips are devil Red and his skin is the colour mocha!"_

The Chief and Adele continued to dance.

**'James Pickens, Jr as Chief Webber'**

**'Loretta Devine as Adele Webber'**

_"He will wear you out, Living la vida loca!"_

A beat-up Rose suddenly ran past the stage, screaming, the Oceansiders in hot pursuit.

**'Brooke Smith as Erica Hahn, the Cardio-Godmother'**

**'Lauren Stamile as Nurse Rose'**

**'Audra McDonald as Naomi Bennett'**

**'Taye Diggs as Sam Bennett'**

**'Tim Daly as Pete Wilder'**

**'Amy Brenneman as Violet Turner'**

**'Paul Adelstein as Cooper Freedman'**

**'KaDee Strickland as Charlotte King'**

**'Brian Benben as Sheldon Wallace'**

_"He'll push and pull you down, livin' la vida loca!"_

George did a moonwalk across the stage.

**'T.R Knight as George O'Malley'**

_"His lips are devil Red, and his skin's the colour of mocha!"_

Arizona and Callie had broken away from the rest of the party, currently making out in a corner.

**'Jessica Capshaw as Arizona Robbins'**

**'Sara Ramirez as Callie Torres'**

_"He will wear you out, livin' la vida loca!"_

The Mercy Westers had started a conga line, headed up by Bailey, with Teddy bringing up the rear when she finally came to rejoin the party.

**'Chandra Wilson as Miranda Bailey'**

**'Sarah Drew as April Kepner'**

**'Jesse Williams as Jackson Avery'**

**'Nora Zehetner as Reed Adamson'**

**'Robert Baker as Charles Percy'**

**'Kim Raver as Teddy Altman'**

_"Livin' la vida loca, livin' la vida loca.."_

_"Livin' la vida loca.. _Everybody now!" cried Izzie.

_"LIVIN' LA VIDA LOCA!"_

* * *

A little while later, after the party had wound down and everybody began heading their separate ways, Izzie sat alone, feeling unusually depressed.

_"All by myself" _she sang sadly. _"Don't wanna be all by myself, anymore.."_

"Hey, Izzie" Cristina grinned as she approached, snuggled up to Owen Hunt. "We're heading over to Joe's, wanna join us?"

"I'm not really in the mood.." Izzie sighed. Cristina frowned. Though she had only known her for a few says, she already knew that this behaviour was out of Character for her friend.

"Come on" she urged, lightly nudging Izzie's shoulder. "We'll find you a nice man to take your mind off that evil spawn.."

"I don't want to take my mind off him!" Izzie snapped.

"I don't want to take my mind off you either!" called a familiar voice from the sky. Cristina's eyes widened in horror as Alex the Evil Spawn swooped down towards them.

"Alex!" Izzie squealed in joy as he landed, throwing her arms around his leg. "Hey, baby!"

"Hey. I've been worried about you" said Alex a little sternly.

"I know, I should have told you where I was going" Izzie said apologetically. "But Meredith had stuff she needed to do, and you were all grumpy with that whole spawning season thing.."

"Yeah" said Alex sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, "I probably should have tried to explain that a little better."

"What do you mean?"

"Uh, see, when a spawn is in love during Spawning Season, they, um, spawn" Alex tried to explain. Izzie still looked confused, so he clarified. "As in, make little spawns." Izzie's eyes widened.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"MOMMY!" cried a chorus of voices, as four mini-Izzies and two mini-Alexes, all with wings and a tail, descended from the sky, barreling into Izzie's chest.

"I'm a Mommy!" cried Izzie joyfully, hugging her new children.

"Uh, congratulations" said Cristina, forcing a smile.

"Thanks!" Izzie grinned. "Oh Alex, look at our little mutant babies!" After a few more moments basking in her newfound motherhood, she frowned. "Damn, I'm gonna have to start getting some better surgeries!"

* * *

AN: Yay! Just one more bonus chap to go!


	25. Seattle Grace Idol

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

Later, Izzie and Cristina, now a little drunk, sat on stage with their arms around each other's shoulders, singing.

_"Once you've had a taste of him you'll never be the same! Oh he'll make you go insane.."_

"Your singing is enough to drive anyone insane" said Callie, looking up from where she was snuggling with Arizona in a corner.

"That's real nice, Callie" said Izzie sarcastically.

"Have you ever had your own bones broken, Ortho-God?" said Cristina, clenching her fists.

"That's Ortho _rockstar_" Callie pointed out with a smirk.

"I think we've had enough people calling themselves 'god' anything today" said Arizona.

"Come on guys, lighten up" said Meredith, approaching with Derek. "They were just having a little fun."

"Besides, they're not that bad" added Derek with a smirk.

"Not that bad?" Izzie pouted.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Doctor Shepherd" said Cristina with a little bow.

"You should" came a familiar voice from behind them, "Because I rarely give them."

"Addison?" cried the group, surprised, as they turned to the voice's source.

"Addison!" repeated Naomi, running forward to hug her, along with the other Oceansiders. "What happened? We thought you were coming here for help!"

"I took a wrong turn and ended up at some Hospital called Princeton-Plainsboro, And this weird diagnostic guy wouldn't let me leave until I helped solve his case" Addison explained. "Stupid little.."

"Easy Addison, the competition hasn't even startred yet" Meredith chuckled.

"I can't help being judgemental" Addison shrugged. "It's who I am."

"Okay, who's up for a little contest?" Meredith asked. Everyone cheered.

* * *

"Hello folks, and welcome to Seattle Grace Idol!" said Amelia into a microphone, once again taking the role of host. "The show where you at home can vote along with our expert judges.. Meredith!"

"Hello!" Meredith waved at the camera.

"My big brother, Derek!"

"Amy.." said Derek, a little embarassed.

"And Addison!"

"Hi there!" Addison grinned.

"To crown our next Seattle Grace Idol!" Amelia continued, grinning. "Okay, first up to perform is.."

* * *

"It's Izzie time!" cried Izzie as she and Alex took to the stage, the Mini-Spawns dancing behind them. _"Oh, the heat was on!"_

"Burnin'!" said Alex.

_"Risin' to the top, oh yeah! Everybody goin' strong" _Izzie began to dance. _"That was when my spark got hot! I heard somebody say burn, baby, burn!"_

_"Disco Inferno!"_Alex sang along.

_"Burn, baby, burn! Burn that Mama down!" _Unfortunately, the Mini-Spawns hadn't learned to control their powers properly yet, and one of them blew fire when they sneezed, accidentally setting their Mother's butt alight.

"You're on fire, Stevens!" Addison yelled.

_"Burn, baby, burn!" _Izzie winked, thinking that Addison was referring to her performance.

"No, Iz, you're ass is really on fire!" cried Meredith in panic. Izzie looked back and screamed, jumping a mile in the air.

"Put it out, put it out!" she shrieked, as everyone rushed to her aid.

* * *

_"Domo arigato, !" _sang George, busting out some dance moves. _"Domo, domo!"_

"Get real, O'Malley" Addison groaned.

"I think his performance is quite smooth, actually" Meredith smirked. "007-like." Derek chuckled, but Addison frowned, not getting the joke.

* * *

_"Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world" _sang Joe the barman. _"I want to be the one to walk in the sun.."_

"Yeah!" Derek cheered, swaying to the beat. "You go, Joe!"

_"And girls just wanna have fun! Oh girls just want to have.."_

"Yeah, you go.. Get some singing lessons!" Addison laughed.

* * *

_"Burn to the ground, I break through the crowd" _Sang Bailey as she danced.

_"I'm on the hunt, I'm after you!" _chorused the Mercy Westers, acting as her back up.

_"I smell like I sound, I'm lost and I'm found, and I'm hungry like the wolf!"_

"Hungry.." Jackson mused, turning to his colleagues. "Are you guys hungry?"

"Yeah" Charles agreed, as he and Reed followed Jackson off stage.

"Hey wait!" cried April. "We're supposed to be.."

"God damn it!" Bailey groaned, knowing it was useless.

"I'm hungry" said Addison sarcastically. "For some talent!"

* * *

Meredith and Derek felt a little sick when Rose, who had somehow managed to sneak back in, walked on stage. When she began to sing, they felt even sicker.

_"I'm too sexy for my scrubs, to sexy for my scrubs so sexy it hurts.." _She started trying to do a strip tease, making everyone cover their eyes. _"And I'm a model, you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the catwalk.. _Ah!" Charlotte had pulled a lever by the judge's desk, sending Rose plummeting down a trapdoor in the stage. Meredith gave her a thumbs up.

* * *

When the three grinning Interns took to the stage, holding canes to dance with, all three judges groaned. This was not going to end well.

_"We can see clearly now the rain has gone! We can see all obstacles in our way.." _Steve accidently tripped, grabbing Pierce for support, then Pierce grabbed Megan, causing the Interns to fall off the stage in a crumpled heap. Pierce and Megan glared at Steve, who chuckled sheepishly.

* * *

_"Sugar, oh, Honey, Honey"_ Arizona sang, as she and Callie danced around the stage. _"Oh, you are my candy girl, and you've got me wanting you!" _Callie giggled, kissing her girlfriend's cheek.

"Aww, they're such a sweet couple!" Derek sighed.

"You would say that, Derek" said Addison, rolling her eyes. "What's next, a singing scalpel?"

* * *

_"I-I-I-I-I'm, hooked on a feeling!" _Sang Mark, terribly, making everyone cover their ears. _"I'm high on believin', that you're in love with me!" _He winked and flashed a stupid grin. Callie bent down and whispered in Addison's ear.

"I couldn't agree more, Cal" Addison smirked. "Hook, line, and stinker!"

* * *

After the disaster that was Mark's performance, the judges were relieved when Cristina walked on stage.

_"You keep saying that you don't need surgery" _she sang. _"Surgery on your heart, but confess!"_ Cristina did a cartwheel across the stage, making the crowd cheer. _"These hands were made for cutting, and that's just what they'll do! And one of these days these hands are gonna cut right into you!"_

"Yang's got my tongue" said Addison thoughtfully. "And possibly my vote.." She turned to seek her fellow judge's opinion, rolling her eyes when she found them absent. "Always breaking the rules.."

* * *

_"What I like about you" _sang Meredith, giggling.

_"You hold me tight, Mmm" _sang Derek, pulling his wife closer.

_"Tell me I'm the only one.."_

_"Gonna come over tonight!"_

_"Yeah!" _They sang in unison. _"You're whispering in my ear, tell me all the things that I wanna hear.."_

_"Cuz it's true!" _Meredith grinned.

"_That's what I like about you!" _Derek smiled back. Meredith pulled out a harmonica and played it a little, only pausing to sing some more.

_"That's what I like about you!"_

_"That's what I like about you!"_

_"Yeah!"_

* * *

"Well, you heard 'em folks, and now it's time to make your choice" said Amelia. "Who will be crowned Seattle Grace's next Idol? Will it be.."

"Me, pick me!" cried Izzie, jumping up and down.

"George?"

George waved cheerily at the camera.

"Joe?"

Joe gave an awkward smile.

"Bailey?"

Bailey was glaring at the Mercy Westers for ruining her performance.

"Pick me! Pick me!"

"Nurse Rose?"

Rose crawled out from under the stage, groaning.

"The Interns?"

Pierce and Megan had tied Steve to a chair to keep him out of trouble.

"Arizona?"

Arizona simply smiled at the camera.

"Me, Pick me!" yelled Izzie, jumping up behind her.

"Mark?

Mark was busy making out with a random girl he'd just met.

"Cristina?"

Cristina made her fake sad face, hoping to get the sympathy vote.

"Meredith and Derek? Or finally.

"Meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Yes, you Izzie" said Amelia, rolling her eyes.

* * *

A short while later, a bird dropped an envelope containing the Winner's name into Addison's hand. She quickly opened it.

"And the Winner is.. Oh, that's ridiculous" she scoffed, throwing the paper over her shoulder, then grabbing a microphone and jumping on the table. "It's me, everyone!"

"What the hell?" yelled Cristina, annoyed.

_"What is a woman? What has she got? If not herself, then she has naught, to say the things she truly feels.."_

"Mer, aren't you gonna do something about this?" Izzie frowned.

"Iz, after the couple of days I've had, I really couldn't be bothered" Meredith sighed. "Just smile and clap."

_"And not the words of one who kneels! The record shows, I took the blows, and did it My Way!"_

* * *

AN: The End, until I start 'Meredith The Third'. Virtual cookies to those who guess who's playing Artie!


End file.
